6th January 2017.

Well, Fiddlesticks!  The year began dubiously, Rye came home on the 1st, his birthday, and had a marvelous day.

Yup skateboard...

Ugliest Cake, ever!

January 2017 is suppose to be a big push toward a healthier, (haha yes ok, there's a sweet infested cake photo up there...trust me, that was not a cake for adults!  Probably shouldn't be for kids either, really),  more mobile, more adventurous me.. so naturally I fecked my left knee up.. walking across my living room, no seriously, crossing my living room - I took maybe 3 steps, CRUNCH, followed by much swearing.  Initially, though it seemed ok - sore and a bit tender, but otherwise ok...woke up the next day couldn't walk.

Whatever day it was after the New Year Bank Holiday, I bit the bullet and went to the GP, there was little improvement after about 4 days, and I was beginning to get fed up of the pain, which over the counter painkillers were barely touching.  Further dismay - though admittedly, not entirely unexpected; knee badly bruised, possible long term damage, knee surgery probably likely, suspect arthritis.  Bleurgh.
There is a chance, with losing some weight, strengthening the muscles around my knees etc that I may avoid knee surgery...so yeah, we'll go for that then.. I really do not want to go under the knife if I can at all avoid it.    I'm deflated but trying to be positive - use it as further motivation to eat better, do the yoga, (though, of course, my new mat is defunct...I'm resorting to chair yoga for now) and with some bloody luck - PLEASE, be much more mobile by the end of this month.    The GP prescribed Naproxen, bugger scary side effects, it's a relief not to be in agony - there's still some pain, and it feels like my knee is about to cave in every step I take..but at least I can get about...and I can sit and crucially GET UP again - yes I got stuck on the sofa, the knee had swelled up further, making it even more painful and stiffer..so I just couldn't get up...I spent about 10 minutes rocking back and forth to propel myself upwards.  Bah!

Next week all the home ed activities start up again, along with other trips I've popped on the calendar, and I'm hoping my knee will hold up to the increased work out.  I have been juicing and eating high raw food diet to help reduce water retention in my body and drop some pounds which would help with the lower lumbar pain I suffer with too.  The hobbling has fecked that up, the unnatural gait of hobbling is playing havoc with my back - so as much as I was hoping to be able to use buses again, next week I will be forking out for taxis.

Hopefully, public transport will be accessible for me  by the 16th, when Rye has Forest School at Delamere Forest, which is a bus ride/train ride and fairly short walk to the area in the forest where the group meet.  And my knee better be up for the 2 night stay in York for the Viking Festival in February I'm about to pay for!

Not the best start to 2017.

I'll sign off with this photo -  I was the not so secret elf for one of my housemates, and he loves goats and rabbits, so I crocheted him a rabbit...it's pretty realistic too, and at one point I found it a tad disturbing because I had the head and half a body of a rabbit on my lap..it was just odd, is all.

Why mostly raw?

Simple.  It's working for me, and I feel amazing.  Week and half in, and a sneak peak at the scales tells me I've lost over 14lbs now  and oh, how nice it is to potter without needing to constantly sit down because the pain in my back is doubling me over.  How lovely not to be nearly crying in pain as my left knee crumbles under my weight yet again - the joint becoming ever more sore, my right knee aching from taking the extra pressure of me hobbling.

How lovely to swim with my son, go on, albeit a short, bike ride.  Wonderful to sleep properly at night and wake up feeling rested.  Lovely to feel energy and once again have it affirmed that a lot of the lethargy that dogged me was food related.  For sure, the weight I carry does not help, effectively, I am giving a constant piggy back to two full grown women... and I was constantly telling myself I'd do this and that when I'd lost a bit of weight and felt better....

Well 3 days into juicing and raw eating and I felt better...  I'm doing things I thought I'd need to loose a fair bit of weight before I'd be able to.

I'm also enjoying creating new recipes for Rye and myself.  Tonight we ate mostly raw chilli.  This is what I did - and wow it was tasty.

Rice:  1 finely chopped (processed) cauliflower & 1/2 spanish onion, finely chopped.

Raw veggies of choice cut up into bite sized pieces.

Dressing:  

4 ripe tomatoes

2 cloves garlic

3 spring onions

large handful of cashew nuts

tbsp of creamed coconut.

1tsp of chilli powder

1tsp of cumin powder

1tsp of ginger

1tsp of corriander powder

1.5 tsp of paprika

1/2 cup of water

1 roasted pepper (Jarred, add some of the jar juice too)

Mix raw veggies with the "rice" and blitz the dressing ingredients in the blender or processor, until the cashews are well processed.  Pour dressing on top of veggies and rice, mix through thoroughly, and leave to marinate for at least half an hour.    

To serve, chop up an avocado and pop on top of the chilli, with sliced lettuce, and a dollop of yoghurt, or cashew cream, and nom.  I also lightly steamed 2 mini corn on cobs too.

Oh, yeah, I added some of my marinated mushrooms too, as a kind of side dish.  Gosh this was tasty - the dressing with cashew nuts had a real hint of chilli mince flavour, it was really delicious.  

A typical day is beginning to look like this:

Late breakfast:  

A green juice, and an avocado, or I blend the avocado into the juice and have a smoothie.  

Rye tends to make his own fruit, sweet juice and then have a small glass of my green juice.

Lunch/afternoon snack:

 I normally make fruit "ice cream" in my vitamix - but to do so, one needs to add some liquid... well my masticating juicer is able to deal with frozen fruit, so for the first time I decided to use it to make ice cream.

Frozen banana mixed with frozen raspberry.  Delicious.  Rye also had a chocolate fudge chopped up and added to his ice cream.  (the fudge is the old pinterest recipe of a can of condensed milk, 2-3 100g bars of dark chocolate and butter, microwaved for 3 mins - except I simply melted it in the Kenwood chef, used most of it as a frosting for birthday muffins, and what was left over I popped in mini muffin silicon cases and froze.. I confess to trying one, and gosh, very fudgy, freezing really improves the fudgy texture)

And then tea is a high raw veg meal, perhaps the chilli above, or courgette noodles, with a tasty dressing or sauce, I've also had a nut pate and crudites.   I have to say the noodle salad below is one of my favourite meals, and I've had it LOT these past few weeks.  I do sometimes add a cooked component, perhaps some roast chicken, or prawns, one evening we had vegetable omelet with raw veggies accompaniment.

There's lots of other flavours, and recipes I'm looking forward to trying and so far Rye has enjoyed the raw meals too, tho his meal was a little different to mine tonight, as I wasn't sure he'd like the chilli:

This was his tea:  some of the chilli with yoghurt on top, cucumber sticks, 2 corn on the cobs, and some grapes and a buttered seeded roll.  And for supper he's had a veg chocolate muffin (i.e. normal chocolate muffin with the pulp from juicing added to the mixture).  The real joy here, is that Rye is mostly eating what I eat, no need for a separate meal - sure he has other things I'm choosing not to eat at the moment, bread, potatoes, cheese, chocolate...in the main, he is eating what I eat and it is just making it so much easier to changing my eating habits - plus of course he is also eating a super healthy diet.

This is how I choose to nourish myself going forward, I'm not claiming to be vegan, vegetarian, raw foodist etc, I simply acknowledge that for myself personally, I am feeling bloody amazing eating a diet that is predominantly raw - and the happy side effect is weight loss.

Its probably taken me a year to get to this point, mind, and I'm looking forward to seeing where the the rest of this year takes me :-)

Btw, quite a few people have been asking about my spiraliser; I have this one:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lurch-210215-Spiralo/dp/B002USUAH8/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1369255880&sr=8-2&keywords=lurch+spiralizer

Ginny's Yarn along and a TaaaDaaah.

So, I thought I'd join in the yarn along, especially as it includes books.  The last few years I've not read much apart from parenting/home education/aspergers/autism/crochet/cookery type books and these days I'm finding I do have the time for more indepth reading, be it fiction or not.  Pre-Rye I loved fantasy, thrillers, romances, historical novels and crime.  I feel the need to widen my repetoire.

So I smile as I upload this photo:

There was a fair bit of gluttony over the festive period, and frankly I'm in need of some turbo charging!  So I've joined Jason Vale's international 7 day Juice Detox, which begins on 9th Jan.  This is the follow on book for continuing to change one's eating habits.  I no longer make New Year Resolutions; but I did at the Yule ritual make a wish that 2012 would be the year I lost weight and became much healthier.  This is the beginning of the wish taking shape.

And the crochet.  It's going to be a snail for Rye, I never did get it finished in time for Yule or his birthday, and there's not much to do.  I reckon this month will mostly be about finishing off any hang over projects... and there's a couple.  Oh, and as I like to give hand made gifts for Yule (and birthdays too) and always end up trying to cram a dozen things into the last few weeks.  I have promised myself I will make at least one item each month and pop it into a "gift box".

The item I will make this month will be the Sweet Eleanor Scarf by Qunice Tart

Oh and the first finished make of 2012 is a dolly blanket.  The squares were originally made for a different project, but were not needed in the end, so they've been sat around for ages.  Not really "my" colours, but mindie likes pink, the pram has pink sides.......so it works.

Weightloss Blog.

I've started a new blog, called "Don't eat the Ffing Cake!", to chart my attempt to loose some weight and feel healthier and more energetic.  If you fancy, please wander over and offer a bit of support. :-) 

Rock Pooling.

Fabulous day!

This afternoon we went down to the beach and searched the rock pools - the kids found loads of stuff, including a baby octopus/cuttlefish, lots of crabs, shrimp, quite a few fishes etc.  Brilliant!  Then we wandered back up to the Coastal Park for an hour before then trooping back to mine for a BBQ.

The plan had been to have the bbq at the coastal park, but it was so windy, (and a bit chilly) that I invited everyone one back, (and why is it, whenever you decide to do these things, the house is a bit of a mess????)

Still, we had a fabulous time, the kids played, the adults chatted, (and I even had a wee sip or two of homemade peach wine, and elderflower wine - yum yum!), and we've planned the next month's get togethers; which include, boating, cycle trips, bird reserve trips, Brockhill Park, Coastal Park etc.  Excellent!
I am a little nervous about the cycling.  For my birthday I have decided to buy myself one; and I am obviously very overweight and very unfit and yes, I'm going on a cycle ride.  Eeek!  Mind, on the upside I only have to cycle there, the nice Mr G (as I'll call him), has said I can put the bike in his bus on the way back and get a lift back!  Woohoo.  Now I've just gotta get Rye riding his bike!  I am actually looking forwad to it, and hoping the cycling will help the weight to get shifted.

I do love having people over to the house, yes ok, I have left most of the clean up till the morning, (so up early to get it done, before mindie arrives), but nonetheless, its just so nice to have a house, or rather a garden full of friends and children and everyone just chatting and having fun!    There is also a distinct benefit to these lovely busy afternoons with lots of friends to run around with............

Health.

I promised myself once the funeral was out of the way, the excuses would fade away and I would continue my journey on learning to live a more healthy and wholesome life.

So, the ciggits have gone. 
A large shop has been made - no excuse for reaching for the phone for takeaway now.
And I shall once again commense with the yoga and this time add in the belly dancing too.

I also plan to treat myself to a bike for my birthday on the 4th June.   Rye is on the cusp of riding a pedel bike, and I would very much like to take him out on bike rides. 

Oooh and I must start taking Rye swimming again.  Ok I may not get to actually swim much, but still walking around the training pool and chasing after Rye etc is still exercising and toning my body!  All good stuff.

LOL and yes, the photos of the family taken after the funeral once again opened my eyes to just how much space I inhabit.  I do know really of course, but after a while that wee protective part of me that is very good at convincing me I'm not that big, wins out and that's when the weight starts to creep upwards again.

The weight has now become a great burden and is affecting my health. 
I would really rather the next funeral I have to attend is not my own.  I want to live, I want to see Rye grow up, I want to cuddle grandchildren, I want to raise merry hell in the nursing home. 
And right now, I want more energy, I want to enjoy playing with my son, I want to be able to run around with him, kick a ball, chase him, leap over waves down at the beach.


I want to live.

Cream crackered.

So in my bid to reduce the physical space I inhabit, I have take to just been on my feet much more; so this morning a session in the kitchen, while the kids played happily in the beautiful sunshine in the garden.  Oooh, actually before mindee appeared, Rye helped me to make apple and orange muffins.  And I've been very good and only had a very small one I made for myself.

After that I decided to fill my fridge with salads and nibbles.  So, I made a root vegetable coleslaw containing fennel, beetroot,carrot, cabbage and raisins and covered with a honey and mustard dressing.  Love this coleslaw, moreso than the bog standard mayo one, which I do like too.  I also boiled salad jersery potatoes and simply covered them in a little rapeseed oil (full of omega goodness), and chives from the garden.  I also chopped up the tomatoes and liberally sprinkled them with balsamic vinegar and pepper.  Ooh and chickpea and butter bean humous - delicious, I added a touch of vinegar and used light tahini rather than dark.. and yum, much prefer this version.  This is my humous:

400g of cooked chickpeas
400g of butter beans
1/2 tsp of garlic powder (I'd used my fresh garlic in another dish - otherwise 1 fat garlic clove or more if you like it really garlicky)
tbsp of cider vinegar
tsp of ground corindander seed
1tbsp of light tahini
tsp of mild chili powder
1/2 tsp of garam malsala
pinch of sea/rock salt
freshly grated black pepper.
Oil.

I just bung it all in the magimix and blend and then slowly add some oill until the consistency is how I like.  The vinegar I found really help to meld the flavours.  Very tasty.

And I've marinated some mushrooms too in an oil and vinegar marinade with garlic, thyme, oregano and black peppercorns.    I may well add more mushrooms tomorrow as they marinate they soften and pack down a bit more. 

I put the little girl I mind down for a nap at quart to twelve and got her back up about quarter past one, and then off down to the park we went - with a detour to the bank and coop.  And then we walked back and Rye insisted I walk faster - puff!

Tea here has consisted off cauliflower cheese, root veg coleslaw, potatoe and chive salad, and balsamic tomatoes.  Yum.

Can't say the bid to inhabit less space is feeling particularly onerous at the moment - hehehe.

Bless him.  Rye was stuffing his face on one of the apple and orange muffins and enjoying Green Juice, made from freshly squeezed oranges, kiwi fruit, large water cress and with some omega oil and honey added for extra goodness.  Hoping all this raw, high vitamin goodness will help to shift the constant snotty nose and frequent fevers.  Still, trying to get him an appointment at the doctors to check out the possible infection -sigh.  But in the meantime, build up his immune system as much as possible.  I'll be making nettle and apple tea tomorrow for him to drink!

Lathe Barn

Rye woke up this morning full of beans and raring to go, so I texted my friend to accept her invite to Lathe Barn  What a lovely little place.  Unfortunately, the children couldn't feed the animals because of Defra rules after that E-coli outbreak at a farm last year.  (sigh) 

Still, once Rye saw the ride ons that was it, I barely saw him for the 3 hours or so we were there.

He was able to get a real turn of speed up with these!  And what does a young boy gravitate to once he's finished zooming up and down...

The sand digger of course.  Quite a feat to get him to understand he couldn't hog this.   
Toward the end of our visit I managed to interest Rye in the goats and he even fed them grass.   And then back home, to a lovely meal of pasta with tomatoe sauce, salad and naan garlic bread.

See that huge pile of pasta - he ate it all!  There were four slices of garlic bread too, which he scoffed too.  Worked up an apetite alrighty :-)

And I am dead chuffed too, since slimfasting, of a fashion; as I'm tending to just have one shake and then fruit or veg until teatime, when I eat a cooked meal, I've lost a stone since last Friday.  And oooh I do feel better for it - my knees feel much less painful already!

So yup, a good day! :-)

Exciting Times.

Really enjoying the local home educator group.  Sure, our plans do not always pan out.  Today was suppose to be our sand castel competition; alas the weather did not look promising so we cancelled - come 4pm the weather was beautiful, typical eh.   Still we met up at one of the parent's home and the kids had a ball, I sat and enjoyed an hour or so of crochet and natter and it was very relaxed and pleasant. 

Oooh and much to my excitement I think we will be going back to Thursdays as home ed day - which is perfect for me as that's my day off!

On a different tangent, I've started a meal replacement diet for a few weeks, just to get my head into loosing weight mode.  I'm only replacing a couple of meals, and eating one meal, be it lunch or tea depending on which is easier that day - and I'll snack on fruit/veg when hungry.  I've been trying to do this with homemade soup for ages but not getting anywhere (not in the sense of not loosing weight - just I'm eating the soup plus everything else lol), so I thought actually paying the eye watering prices of a meal replacement shake will hopefully give me the kick up the bum I need - plus, I'm going camping in Scotland for Beltane this year, I think a couple of stone removed would make that experience far more pleasant!  Not to mention the car journey up to Scotland - I'm doing the driving and I know I will be in agony if I don't loose a few stones.

Oooh and then the end of May it's the Green Parent Forum get together in the Forest of Dean, so looking forward to that, a few days at home, then a day trip to Haslemere for a nurtured earth event, whcih coincides with my birthday.    

Social days, busy days, but gosh so much fun and Rye is so coming out of himself - today even with C present he played lovely with some of the other kids.   Marvellous. Oooh and no backward hugging etc; about the only thing he did really, is he shut the door on C.  Our host had words with him and, unlike if I'd spoken to him, he didn't do it again :-)  Gotta love having a community around that helps with these things!

**smile**  He did fall asleep at 6pm again this evening, but he's awake now and I can hear him chattering to himself and singing.  LOL I can hear him saying to himself, "When mummy comes out of her bedroom, I'll talk at her."  bless him.  I'm guessing that "talk" will be in the realms of coming into my room.... how long can I hold out for the loo?  ;-)

January Blues.

Tis the season, eh.

I'm not depressed or even deeply unhappy - my mojo has just gone for a long walk - and clearly with far less painful knees than I am suffering with at the moment.  I'm simply unmotivated, lethargic and a headful of ideas and aims and no will to implement.

Rather than depressing its rather vexing.  I am also the Goddess of Procrastination.  Oh, yes I am!  I had a plan to do a simple healthy detox this month; eating lots of homemade healthy soups, fresh fruit and veggies and drinking lots more water.  Is it happening?  Nope, why, because I've got it into my head I need to get myself a microwave first.. and then I also got it into my head that my 6.5lt slow cooker is too big and I need a 1.5lt one.  Hmmm.  Microwave, yes handy, slow cooker to be honest, my large one has two compartments, so I can actually cook a small portion that would probably last a day or two, so no I don't need the 1.5lt one.

Procrastinator!

It is also vexing because oh my gawd, my knees hurt.  Ever twisted your ankle.. that excruciating pain of trying to put your weight on the injured ankle.. my knees are very reminiscent of that - and vexing because a couple of weeks I would undoubtedly loose enough to improve the pain really quite dramatically - but guess what....

Procrastinator!

I did ask the doctor if there was any pain relief I could take so I would feel more inclined to walk and just generally be more active; but he said painkillers have rather serious side effects and rather encouraged me not to over do activity and to loose weight. 

Yes, but you see, Dr, I am the Goddess of Procrastination. 

Loose weight, sounds so simple; but I've been trying to do this for the past 30 years (I'm 36, my mother had me on diets from a young age), and I'm heavier than I've ever been.  Do you know I eye up those mobility scooters with serious wantsies.  A bloody mobility scooter.

Hmm actually a microwave would be very handy.   PROCRASTINATOR!

Yes, yes, but it would, so I shall go and now cancel the 1.5litre slow cooker order and instead order a microwave. 

Hey and in the morning, I will be walking Rye to nursery and then picking him up again at lunch time.  I expect to be crawling up the stairs in agony by the evening - but hey that's one of the downsides of being the Goddess of Procrastination.

Spoiled. More sunshine!

A glorious day.  Loads of fun with the kids and real sense of rejuvenation and energy.  I feel so alive, hadn't realised just how much the hibernation instinct had enveloped me during this particularly cold and snowy winter.  First thing there was lots of fantastic play, making fruit stew and practising our slicing skills.

Hehehe, tasting the stew and of course trying it with some "baguette". I love the effect of the sun shining through the window behind Rye, so pretty.

 Playing with his car; and for once, no squabbles, C was playing further to the left out of shot with the Hungry Giraffe.  But just to be on the safe side I took the kids into the garden; and it was warm enough, in the sun, not to need a coat, fantastic.  C finally mastered "climbing" up onto the decking.  It's only a few inches off the ground, still it's a combination of getting use to the wellies and finding her balance.

Anyhoos, decided to take the kids over to the park and we took the football with us.  Great fun; and much to my utter shock I was sort of running around chasing the ball with Rye, hehe, and little C following after us, playing on the swings with them, helping C on the slide etc.  Suprised me, normally I sit down on the bench and just watch the kids; today though I was full of energy, my knees aren't hurting and I almost felt like I could run, (not quite, still a bit too big; but give it amonth or two then perhaps :-) ).  Rye loved playing football with me and squealed and laughed with joy.

My rumbling tummy indicated it was probably getting near lunch time; astonishingly it was nearly midday; we'd been out for over an hour, a goodly amount of activity for me.  Now of course it could just be psychological in that the mind programming I'm listening too is encouraging me to be more active and to find it easy to be so; but I do suspect I've lost some weight too, I am curious to know how much; but weigh day isn't till.. um, Friday I think.  At the end of the day though, my goal is to feel healthier and have more energy; I'm not really interested in what the scales say.

Lunch was a bit hotchpotch - we had the rest of the lasagne from yesterday's tea, and the kids had a boiled egg each and a couple of the flakey pastry buscuits I bake, cucumber slices and cherry tomatoes.  Still, they scoffed it, so I guess it was enjoyed. 

While C napped, Rye playing some more in the garden on his tractor - and yes look!  Washing out on the line

and virtually of it was dry by the time I brought it in this evening!  Anyway, while Rye played in the garden I made bread and Leek and Potatoe soup for tea.  I decided to do a pudding too; the other day I saw a receipe of a Microwave Steam Maple Syrup Pudding.  Decided to adapt the receipe to make treacle pudding; I also halved the quanitites... and you know, it wasn't half bad.  I guesstimated how long to pop it in the microwave because Rose Elliot in receipe said she cooks her pudding for 10 minutes.  So I thought, "Ok five minutes then..." but it dawned on me my microwave is more powerful; so I lowered it to 3 mins.  And yes in 3 minutes the treacle pudding was done -  think 2 1/2 minutes would probably be better or maybe 3 mins on medium high rather than high?  Have to play and see what works better.

Nontheless, it was nice; treacle steamed puddng has always been my favourite, although I can't remember the last time I ate it, and to the microwave version I added some lemon zest, which was seriously tasty!  The kids seemed to enjoy it too; Rye ate all his, and my charge had a good munch; although she did leave quite a bit.    The pudding wasn't the same as the real deal of course; but for a quick tasty pudding I have to say it was pretty impressive.

Then once my charge had gone for the day I completed a few chores and then discovered Rye had fallen asleep.  6pm is far too late for a nap; so I woke him up and we sat on the floor and played snakes and ladders - first time we've played it; Rye won one game and I won the other.  Not sure he really understood the concept; but hey, we had a giggle.  Then we played a memory game; and he was pretty good at that.  Again not a game we've played before, I just discovered that the games compendum I picked Rye up from Asda, at Yule, included the game.  I think though, I will pick up some better cards for it.  That game though, Rye seemed to enjoy.

Then into bed and I was back down at 7pm.  Although, tonight Rye's been a little restless and we had a few tears; so I went back upstairs gave lots of cuddles and kisses and about 15 minutes or so later he was asleep ; although a few more tears inbetween.  Hmm, the jury is still out on whether I move Rye's bed into my room or not - at the end of the day all I really want is for him to sleep in his own space and not be waking me up so much during the night; that can be accomplished by him sleeping on his bed in my room; and if it means he's happier, well it's a no brainer.  I'll give it another few days because along with sleeping in his own room, he's also having to get use to a routine; whereas recently I've just been letting him stay up with me and he either falls asleep on the sofa beside me and then I  wake him and we go up tto bed when I'm ready to go.  Or I'm upstairs and he's watching dvds etc and eventually he will cuddle down and go to sleep - usually pretty late. 

Lone parenting isn't really that hard with Rye, he's a delightful little boy; generally very laid back and sunny natured and fairly independent.   Any difficulties are, 90% of the time, down to me being frustrated I can't do what I want to do when he'd demanding my attention; and Rye isn't a little boy who will be ignored.  And it is a pyscological thing in some respect; because if Rye's asleep on the sofa beside me, well it's no real difference to him being in his own room and asleep, like he is now.... but it feels different, it feels like this is my time... and every so often I am reminded; generally after I've had a prolonged period of feeling grumpy with him and parenting begins to feel like duty, that I need to feel like I have some time to myself.  Just because he's in bed doesn't mean the parenting is over for the night - he could of course wake up - but it feels like its wind down time for me.  I can jump online and mooch without feeling guilty, I can read a book, crochet, potter in the kitchen, or just sit on the sofa with the a blanket over my feet and daydream.  I do love to daydream, and it is a bit of a luxury these days. :-)

Pics from the past few days.

My darling little lad conked out  about 3:30pm yesterday and didn't wake until 9ish;

 Ohhh the dahl I made the other day , that was ever so tasty;

 And today's fun and a games :-)  A friend popped round this afternoon, and while I was settling C for her afternoon nap the bean bags I'd ordered arrived.  LMAO, well, that was fun; my hallway is piddling and rather stupidally the front door has been hung so it opens against the door to the lounge, thus blocking over half the entrance to the room.... so trying to get humongous bags through the front door, shut front door then into the lounge was rather challenging.. and squishing at times lol.

I've bought a 4ft "sofa" bag for the lounge because seating is rather limited.  I only have the 2 seater sofa and a pouffe; so I wanted so extra comfy seating that wouldn't take up a lot of room, and could double as something fun for the kids too.  Safe to say the lounge bean bag has gone down a storm;

 I am being very brave because I did look at these photos, my friend took for me, and think, "OMG, look at the size of me!"  They are such lovely photos of Rye and me though and there aren't many of us together like this, so what the heck.  I'm fat, and until Im not, I am going to look at photos and think, "Urgh!"  lol.

Mind, I think I've lost some, I feel lighter, and my knees are much improved, I can walk up and down the stairs pretty easy now and leavering that body off the floor isn't quite so much effort.

  

Oh, and the other bean bag?  It's a six foot long sofa bed bean bag for Rye.  I've made it up for him and I'll see if he wants to sleep on it tonight - he might not tho as he's not 100%.  No biggy.  And part of the reason for buying it, is so it can double as a guest bed when needed or even extra seating (as Rye of course can always sleep in my room.. or even on the smaller bean bag as it's large enough for him to kip on at the mo.

Kiddy free weekend Saturday 20th Feb

Rye is at his dad's this weekend; bless him he was so excited when I told him his dad was coming down.  He's been asking for a few weeks now about his dad because he's not seen his dad since Christmas, who had hurt his back and was unable to drive.

I confess, to a squidgeon of excitment at the prospect of a weekend kiddy free, well at least from 1:30pm today, which is when my charge is picked up.   I've been wanting to sort my room out for a while; and have a bit of a move around; partially because some dear friends are visiting in April and will be staying in my room.  Having the bed pushed up against the wall is fine for me; but not so convenient for a couple.   Makes changing the bed much easier too :)  The room isn't how I invisage in my mind eye; but that will happen when I buy some more shelving so the piles of books on the floor, under the bed , on the window cill etc can all go on the shelves.  I may even put some of my own art work up.

Mmmm, and I've eaten some delicious food today.  I've become a bit addicted to 30 Minute Meals by Rachel Ray.  Very American of course and the meals are mainly meat based; but she has such a wonderful presence, and I do like the little stories she tells while she's cooking.  Anyhoos, today she made a marmalade sauce for chicken; and inspiration hit.  As I'm trying to keep my lunch mainly raw I decided to have a big salad and make a lime marmalade dressing; and oohhhh it was suprisingly yummy;

1 heaped tsp of lime marmlade, warmed in the microwave.
1tbsp of omega oil
1-2 tbsp of extra virgin olive oil
2 tsp of red wine vinegar (I would have used white if I had any - or lime juice)
Crushed black pepper
Salt

And I just mixed it all together and then poured that over a pile of salad leaves, cucumber, red pepper and sliced in half grapes (needed using up), tossed it to coat all the leaves, then added the sprouted seeds and some parmasan shavings.  OH MY GOSH!  Wonderful.  Tangy, sweet and just wonderful.

Then this evening I fancied curry.  I resolved not to buy takeaways during Lent; and besides I need to spend at least £12 to qualify for delivery - so I thought, "what the heck", and made myself a Red Lentil Dahl.  Oh WOW!

Oil
1 medium onion chopped
1 large carrot quarted and chopped
1 small beetroot chopped
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
1/4 tin of coconut milk
1 tin of water (use the tomatoe tin)
1/2 cup of red lentils
pinch of dried chilli seeds
3 green cardamons pods crushed, seeds removed and the seeds crushed.  (I love cardamon if you’d prefer a less flora taste reduce to 1 or 2 pods)
tsp of ground corriander
tsp of cumin seeds
aprox 1/2 tsp of fresh grated ginger
1/2 tsp of dried garlic powder (not salt)  (could use fresh garlic if preferred)
approx 2 tsp of freshly ground black pepper

I just sauteed the veggies in the oil until soft added the seasonings and spices, cooked for a minute or two; then added the tomatoes, water, and red lentils, covered and after ten minutes added 1/4 can of coconut milk; left to fast simmer for another 15-20 minutes.  I boiled rice with cardamons to serve with, naan would have been nice too; but I decided last thing to make this and couldn't be bothered to faff making Naan.

I've been really slowing down my eating too, and taking the time to really taste and explore the textures and I am amazed how stupendous food is tasting!  I have a few golden rules, lol, well actually, they are Paul McKenna's rules; which compliments beautifully what I've been trying to do myself anyway.  So the rules are:

1.  Eat when hungry
2.  Eat what I want not what I think I should be eating.
3.  Eat Consciously
4.  Stop when you're full.

Whether I loose weight, remains to be seen; although I suspect I will.  I've only been following these golden rules 2 days now; but already I am amazed by the change.  Food tastes absolutely stupendous; the kids look at me bemused when I eat because I'm grunting & moaning in appreciation  seriously, far better than sex!

I only eat when I think I'm hungry, and the idea is not to let myself get too hungry; so when I start to feel hungry that is when I eat.  Although I have a drink of water first because the signal for thirst and hunger are the same.  If, after a drink I'm still hungry; then I eat.  After I'd eaten my salad a few hours later I was feeling peckish and decided to use the rest of the salad up in a sandwich; I spread the bread with homemade humous; added the left over dressed salad.. and blimey, best sandwich I can remember having in a long time.  All this from simply slowing my eating right down and as much as possible, concentrating on what I'm eating and really enjoying every mouthful.  I can't always tell when I'm full; but I have noticed that McKenna is right; when I am getting full each mouth is less enjoyable.  And the crazy thing is, now I'm purely listening to my body I have eaten far, far less that I would normally and I am full much sooner than I would have thought.

The lentil Dahl I made this evening; normally I would have polished it all off myself.  I had a bowl full, ate consciously and with enjoyment and it was enough.  There was temptation to have seconds anyway; 
I suppose knowing I can eat whenever I want, solong I'm hungry, is giving me that degree of control.  Why have a second bowl of the dahl when I'm full, and it won't taste as good. Might as well wait until I'm hungry and it will taste phenomenal again - perhaps have it for lunch tomorrow over a jacket potatoe?

Seriously, whether you want to loose weight or not; give the golden rules a try for a few days or a week.  And yep it can still be done when eating with children and indeed I've come to realise that young 'uns tend to naturally eat this way anyway.

I will weigh myself in 2 weeks time and see how it's going.

Spring cleaning continued.

Well, that's the downstairs nearly complete; I'll give the oven a clean, maybe tomorrow while the little 'un naps.. but for now I'm shattered and feeling very accomplished - going from this:

and this:

 

to this:

 

  

and a scrubbed floor

I am actually looking forward to getting in there tomorrow and cooking!

Rye has spent many a hour being enthralled with the threading beads:

 

Creating beautiful castles:

The new shelving also means I've brought down most of his books, including the "How things work" and "Cars" etc, it was such a book he was reading here;

 

 Until he heard the camera being turned on and shut the book and protested at me photoing him.  Humph. 

Inspite of the threatening clouds, I togged us both up and outside we went.  Rye had fun racing off ahead on his bike; and I'm finding it great exericse as it's forcing me to walk much faster than my usual slow amble.

The plan is to go out each day, rain or shine for at least a 10 minute walk and for Rye to have a ride on his bike.  In practise this will be relatively easy as I walk down inot the village for various activites during the week with the kids and for me its about a 20 minute walk each way... plus there's the walk to Kidz Planet which is about 25-30 minute walk each way too.

All part of my resolve to eat much much healthier and start listening to my body and stop ignoring the pain my vast weight is putting on my knees in particular, but also my legs in general, ankles and lower back.  

I am NOT going on a diet, nor am I setting myself any goals; instead I want to concentrate on feeling better, feeling more comfortable.  I'm not really fussed what I weigh solong I feel good, and at the moment I don't.

Part of the healthy eating will be to up the amount of raw food we consume and to explore new ways of cooking and to reduce even further refined foods, like white flour, pasta and white rice.  A procedure already much in progress, once the white flour I do have in the pantry is gone, it won't be replaced, I've now started purchasing wholewheat pasta and a 500g bag at a time.  I use to stock up on the 3kg bags, but I found because I had so much I was really over estimating how much to cook and ending up with masses of pasta and of course I would sit and eat it all.  And I'm finding a 500g bag is plenty for myself and the two kids for the week, sometimes longer.

I've changed my Riverford order so I receive salad veggies weekly, rather than fortnightly, and I've added a bit extra fruit to compliment the fortnightly fruit box I order; mainly so I can do some juicing too.

I'll be engaging my witchypooness too :-)  I've avoided using my magic after a spectacular mishap when I was a young 'un in the Craft - I wrote a spell to make me thin and I didn't really think it through... I found myself unable to eat AT ALL.  That was one spell that got de-constructed quick smart. 

It's not spells I need anyway, it's reconstructing how I view food, attitudes I have and working through a few left over issues from my childhood, which actually will kinda compliment my ongoing self work regarding my temper.  I guess 2010 is the year where I really try to become much more balanced.

And I have been getting nudges from the Universe too and really I can't ignore my body any longer, at this rate I'll be a cripple by the time I'm 40.

So it would appear I'm spring cleaning ME as well this year :-)

Fun and Games.

Today has been fun. Parenting for the past week or so has seemed to be constant round of frustration, annoyance and shouting, followed by guilts, crying and more frustration.
It is a friend's birthday in a couple of days, so it was the perfect impetus to get the paints out and doing some finger painting with Rye. He loves finger painting, I really should let him do it more and I really, really want to get him an easel.

Naturally, he managed to cover himself in paint despite wearing a plastic sleeve apron. The blue looks quite fetching in his hair; along with the little spots of red.

After painting he played in the garden for a while and then when he came in we sat on the floor and played with his jigsaws, cars, treeblocks, abacus and stacking toys. In between I made bread too. He was enjoying himself so much he would cling to me and plaintively say "noooooo" when I stood up to see to something. Cute and sobering at the same time and a clear indicator that I've not been as present as I could with him. In a way I'm reminded of the complaint I use to make of my ex and the tiime he spent on the computer - he would argue that we were spending time togther because the computer was in the lounge and we were both in there. A very lame argument of course; but I think I've fallen into a version of this now I'm a SAHM. Rye playing AROUND me while I get on with other things is not being present with him. I've turned my life upside down and wrung it around several times to get to where I am now, and I feel quite miffed with myself that I've been wasting this precious time.

Coupled to that is facing up to some concerns that have been nagging at the back of my mind for a while now. Firstly, Rye's verbal skills; yes, they are improving daily and I've kept telling myself not to worry and he will develop in his own time, but then I thought once he started speaking he would shoot head and he isn't. I am very concious that I have hearing problems, which Rye may have inherited and I needed speach thearpy as a kid. So the long and short of it is I called the surgery to request to see a HV. Bit of a pavlava, turns out the HVs are attached to the surgery but not a part of it, so I was given another number to try, then another, then another until finally I got to speak to a HV. I was rather bemused to discover they knew nothing of Rye; the Surgery hadn't passed on his details, which suprised me in light of the fervour recently about children not being known to the "authorities". Anyway, they took his details and will contact me next week about an appointment.

Next, the time has come when I simply must do something about my weight. It is adversely affecting the quality of mine and Rye's life and my left knee is becoming increasingly painful, so much so I find it near impossible to carry him up the stairs now, (which has implications for the childminding too). Deep breath, and I've requested an appointment with the practise nurse to discuss joining the new weight management scheme, which involves one to one sessions with a counsellor too. My appointment is tomorrow.

Not long now.

Really chuffed with the way the lion has turned out. :)
Our "new" dining table is getting plenty of use - it's just so nice to sit at the table with the little 'un and eat our meals - and have room to properly set the table too.
Mmm, that was a mighty fine loaf - humongous; but really tasty with a lovely soft crumb. We had the last of it today as toast as it was starting to get a bit stale - so lasted well as I made it on Monday.

First signs of spring, crocuses poking through the ground; rather appropriate with Imbolc at the beggining of Feb. Its not normally a festival I would mark, being that I'm not Wiccan; recently though I've come to the conclusion it doesn't matter whether these are bonafide agricultural/pagan ancestors' festivals or not - of course Imbolc is a celtic fire festival, although the debate rages red hot (pardon the pun) in scholarly circles as to it's true nature and even down to what "Imbolc" means - most pagan sites will quote "ewe's milk" or "in the belly" - all that matters is the intent and, actually, its a really nice way to introduce the little 'one to nature and to help me keep connected as mundane life can sometimes get in the way.
I've packed away the winter/yule season table decorations. The spring table is rather sparse, I thought it would be nice to do some arts and crafts with the little 'un, maybe go down to the pebble beach and collect some stones etc.

Last pictures are of our garden. At the mo, it's an expanse of lawn with boarders that need weeding. I keep toying with using some of the garden as a veg patch; but I've not made my mind up yet; plus I'm not overly green fingered so perhaps container veg plot would be best this year to see how I get on; plus easy to move out of the way of any children I may be minding.

Writing of minding, its really not that long now. Rather pleased that work has agreed to me working 2 full days one week and 3 full days the next week rather than 2.5 days each week. The half day is rather expensive in terms of train fares and this way it will save me a bit of money and, more importantly, allow me to take the little 'un along to the toddler group that "Nice" (tl'u's way of saying my CM's name) takes him too on a Thursday. He apparently loves it, and I rarely have the opportunity to see him play with other children, looking forward to that.

May manage a visit to Kids Planet during my days off this week - I've discovered its not that far to walk from here (well according to Google anyway) and again "Nice" has taken him there with her other minded children and by all accounts loves it. Rather depends on my tendons - the copious extra weight I'm carrying is putting a lot of strain on my heels and because I do so much more walking these days than I did my heels are incredibly painful. First thing on a morning, or when I've been sat down for a while, I hobble and grimace a lot until the stiffness fades a bit. On the up side, it really is very painful and so encouraging me to finally get my head into gear to get a couple of stone (at least) off to ease the pressure on my heels. The daft thing is I can easily loose that amount in about 3 to 4 weeks (without doing anything drastic) and just 2 stone would make such a difference. Sure, I would still have a vast amount of weight to get rid off to be slim; but I'm not really fussed about getting down to a size 10 or 12 or a set weight - I want to loose enough to feel comfortable and not to be restricted by the weight as I am now.

Wow, enough rambling, I need bed, only had a few hours kip the past few nights (own fault, staying up too late and then needing to be up around half five for work) and boy am I feeling it now. I could quite snuggle back into my arm chair and just go to sleep - except I would stiffen up horribly and then be in agony.