Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Fun and Games.

Today has been fun. Parenting for the past week or so has seemed to be constant round of frustration, annoyance and shouting, followed by guilts, crying and more frustration.
It is a friend's birthday in a couple of days, so it was the perfect impetus to get the paints out and doing some finger painting with Rye. He loves finger painting, I really should let him do it more and I really, really want to get him an easel.

Naturally, he managed to cover himself in paint despite wearing a plastic sleeve apron. The blue looks quite fetching in his hair; along with the little spots of red.

After painting he played in the garden for a while and then when he came in we sat on the floor and played with his jigsaws, cars, treeblocks, abacus and stacking toys. In between I made bread too. He was enjoying himself so much he would cling to me and plaintively say "noooooo" when I stood up to see to something. Cute and sobering at the same time and a clear indicator that I've not been as present as I could with him. In a way I'm reminded of the complaint I use to make of my ex and the tiime he spent on the computer - he would argue that we were spending time togther because the computer was in the lounge and we were both in there. A very lame argument of course; but I think I've fallen into a version of this now I'm a SAHM. Rye playing AROUND me while I get on with other things is not being present with him. I've turned my life upside down and wrung it around several times to get to where I am now, and I feel quite miffed with myself that I've been wasting this precious time.

Coupled to that is facing up to some concerns that have been nagging at the back of my mind for a while now. Firstly, Rye's verbal skills; yes, they are improving daily and I've kept telling myself not to worry and he will develop in his own time, but then I thought once he started speaking he would shoot head and he isn't. I am very concious that I have hearing problems, which Rye may have inherited and I needed speach thearpy as a kid. So the long and short of it is I called the surgery to request to see a HV. Bit of a pavlava, turns out the HVs are attached to the surgery but not a part of it, so I was given another number to try, then another, then another until finally I got to speak to a HV. I was rather bemused to discover they knew nothing of Rye; the Surgery hadn't passed on his details, which suprised me in light of the fervour recently about children not being known to the "authorities". Anyway, they took his details and will contact me next week about an appointment.

Next, the time has come when I simply must do something about my weight. It is adversely affecting the quality of mine and Rye's life and my left knee is becoming increasingly painful, so much so I find it near impossible to carry him up the stairs now, (which has implications for the childminding too). Deep breath, and I've requested an appointment with the practise nurse to discuss joining the new weight management scheme, which involves one to one sessions with a counsellor too. My appointment is tomorrow.


lilac73 said...

Good luck for tomorrow and well done, you've taken the first steps!

Naomi said...

Sounds like the kind of day we need around here, time to connect and stay present - there has been too much negativity here too so I know the feeling.

Re: the speech thing, I'm trying not to worry as well but it's difficult isn't it? When everyone else's child seems to be ahead of your own in the speech department and even younger children who are too, it's hard to stay focused on the fact your child is an individual who will develop at his own pace. I'd be interested to know what the hv says because Rye's only a few months older than Tristan isn't he? (hugs) hun, hope the appointment/weight loss goes well. xxxx

Liz said...

Wow, you have confronted a lot of painful issues all in one day! Well done, and I hope your appointments go well and are helpful.
I think it's a natural way of being in a family setting to have children playing while you potter about and do stuff like make bread and wash up etc. Obviously, you won't *always* be doing other stuff as well, but it's those little moments where you're half joining in with a game while also making the tea which are real family moments, especially as children are growing older. It models doing household jobs in a social way, and as children get older, this is often when they sidle up to you and tell you stuff about their dreams, their worries or whatever. It doesn't have to be one-to-one 'quality' time all the time. Kids need 'quantity' time too, where you're available close by but not focused on them.

Gina said...

Hi Joxy,
Thank you so much for your lovely reply to my post on the infamous GP thread! And for your kind comments on my blog. I really enjoy reading your blog and think you are a wonderful mama:)
Keep in touch
Gina xxx