Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Fun and Games.
Today has been fun. Parenting for the past week or so has seemed to be constant round of frustration, annoyance and shouting, followed by guilts, crying and more frustration.
It is a friend's birthday in a couple of days, so it was the perfect impetus to get the paints out and doing some finger painting with Rye. He loves finger painting, I really should let him do it more and I really, really want to get him an easel.
Naturally, he managed to cover himself in paint despite wearing a plastic sleeve apron. The blue looks quite fetching in his hair; along with the little spots of red.
After painting he played in the garden for a while and then when he came in we sat on the floor and played with his jigsaws, cars, treeblocks, abacus and stacking toys. In between I made bread too. He was enjoying himself so much he would cling to me and plaintively say "noooooo" when I stood up to see to something. Cute and sobering at the same time and a clear indicator that I've not been as present as I could with him. In a way I'm reminded of the complaint I use to make of my ex and the tiime he spent on the computer - he would argue that we were spending time togther because the computer was in the lounge and we were both in there. A very lame argument of course; but I think I've fallen into a version of this now I'm a SAHM. Rye playing AROUND me while I get on with other things is not being present with him. I've turned my life upside down and wrung it around several times to get to where I am now, and I feel quite miffed with myself that I've been wasting this precious time.
Coupled to that is facing up to some concerns that have been nagging at the back of my mind for a while now. Firstly, Rye's verbal skills; yes, they are improving daily and I've kept telling myself not to worry and he will develop in his own time, but then I thought once he started speaking he would shoot head and he isn't. I am very concious that I have hearing problems, which Rye may have inherited and I needed speach thearpy as a kid. So the long and short of it is I called the surgery to request to see a HV. Bit of a pavlava, turns out the HVs are attached to the surgery but not a part of it, so I was given another number to try, then another, then another until finally I got to speak to a HV. I was rather bemused to discover they knew nothing of Rye; the Surgery hadn't passed on his details, which suprised me in light of the fervour recently about children not being known to the "authorities". Anyway, they took his details and will contact me next week about an appointment.
Next, the time has come when I simply must do something about my weight. It is adversely affecting the quality of mine and Rye's life and my left knee is becoming increasingly painful, so much so I find it near impossible to carry him up the stairs now, (which has implications for the childminding too). Deep breath, and I've requested an appointment with the practise nurse to discuss joining the new weight management scheme, which involves one to one sessions with a counsellor too. My appointment is tomorrow.