Tuesday, 14 April 2009


Finances are very very stretched and I've got bills coming through the door left, right and centre so feeling a tad nervous, especially as I was expecting a final tax credit payment today and its not gone into my bank account. So I called Inland Revenue, I am still getting it but they send it out as a cheque - blah.

I've received a call from Job Centre Plus too and they've requested I attend a "get back into work" interview on Friday, and if I don't they won't process the claim. I don't quite understand why when I've been very up front that I'm only claiming until my registration for childminding is complete and then I'll be doing that. Oh well, I suppose the establishment likes to make us leap through the hoops.

Also, I have been informed that maintenance people will be contacting me to discuss my rights and how to receive maintenance from Rye's dad. Nervous about this because Rye's dad is in financial straits and if they go after him he will do his nut - on the one hand I think it is about time he made some sort of financial contribution, (when I left I said I wouldn't chase maintenance and would give him time to sort himself out; I don't think he's even seen anyone to see if there is anything he can do and it has been over a year now), and on the other hand I'm not sure its worth the hassle I'd get off him. I'm conscious too that he struggles to find the petrol money to visit his son (so far hasn't been able to, so I use to take Rye up to Maidstone when I was working as it's closer to my ex's home) and I would rather he is at least able some times to come and see Rye then receive money off him and never see Rye. I've never had maintenance and I manage ok so its not like I miss the money; although saying that it would mean I could top up Rye's trust fund with it.

If Rye was doing without I wouldn't hesitate but he's not and I think its more important for him to have his dad in his life and at the end of the day this is about Rye not me or my dislike of the man.

On the up side, it is a nice warm day and most of it has been spent in the garden having fun with Rye. He's so funny; its flying ant season and they are attracted to the brightly colour soft play balls. So he keeps poking at them and laughing when they fly off. He is also pointing at the seagulls and saying "Burds" :) I wonder if he's having another growth spurt though because he's eating me out of house and home at the moment. Already he's had 4 or 5 bananas on top of breakfast and lunch and some breadsticks too, oh and a fromage frais.


Liz said...

You have my sympathy - we're also in financial deep doo-doo and have been jumping through all the bureaucratic hoops to get minimal benefits! I presume that working as child-minder means you are self-employed and your income may be variable? I'm also self-employed and it's caused no end of bother with child tax credits, council tax benefit and god knows what else. Ah well, I hope it all sorts itself out for you and is just a temporary cash flow crisis.

Joxy said...

I'm not yet classed as a childminder as I'm waiting on registrationt o be complete which could take up to 3 months, so I'm trying to get sorted with Income Support, Housing Benefit (which I receive already but will increase) and council tax benefit.

Although once I start childminding I will then too have the joy of trying to sort out benefits while being self employed, which probably be a nightmare too.


willow81 said...

Rye's dad is an adult and he has responsibilities whether he likes them or not. Why should you be the only one running around trying to provide for Rye? He *should* be chased and hassled IMHO! Why should he only get the nice bits of part-time parenting? What *does* he spend his money on? No one is making it easier for YOU so why look after him? Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, it just made me a bit cross. I do understand that you want Rye's contact with his dad to be positive, but if you make it all nice and easy for him perhaps he'll never feel the need to grow up and face his responsibilities?

I'm sure the benefits interview is just a formaity. I hope it all gets sorted in time for you to come to Ali's on Friday!!!


Joxy said...

**smile** Not at all hon, my best mate says the same.. I suppose I'm just a big softie at heart and I do, I would hate to think Rye didn't see his dad because I sicced the maintenance people on him; although like you said, he's an adult with responsibilities and he should be looking at how to meet them.

He won't tho - he is incapable of accepting responsibility for his life - nothing is ever his fault.. although perhaps I am enabling that belief a little too. :(

I'll talk to the maintenance people and find out what my options are and make a decision then.

Jax said...

My other half got chased for maintenance as soon as his ex-wife applied for benefits - I'm not sure you will get much choice in the matter, if you tell them who he is, they will go after him. Unless they've changed the process drastically, which seems unlikely. The drawback is that they take the maintenance out of your benefits, or they certainly used to, so you don't end up with any extra money.

I could be very out of date, but that's how it used to work.

Cave Mother said...

I agree he should pay his share but I totally get why you would want to give him more time. At least he sees his son - that has to be better than a totally absent father who makes financial contributions. Just don't let him get away with it for too long!

Joxy said...

Hi Jax,

yeah it has changed, I have a choice now and if I were to receive maintenance from him it wouldn't be counted toward my benefit claim.

The law is also being changed so that lone parents can be forced back into work; from next year, I believe it is, when their children reach 12, year after I think it's 9 and then after that I'm sure its 7 years old.

Their income support will stop and they will have to go on job seekers and prove they are looking for work... I do wonder how this will affect Home educators who are on benefits. :(

Jax said...

well, that's an improvement on the maintenance front, I could never see how the system they had before was going to improve anyone's situation.

I know about the law change re lone parents, I'm intrigued as to where all these jobs are going to come from, let alone how they think the children are going to be looked after.