Thursday, 24 September 2009

Train Wreck.

Lots to assimilate the past day.  Rye's dad has told me his g/f is moving to the UK, (well, I asked), and he wants to have Rye again next week overnight so he can take Rye to see his great grandparents.  Seems life with the new lady in his life is going very well and who knows perhaps he will make it down the aisle this time.  I am suddenly very aware that Rye is gong to have another significant person in his life and that I need to try and get along with that person.  I don't think it will be horrendously difficult as the g/f seems very nice... still it doesn't stop me from hating the situation.  But, Rye loves seeing his daddy and I can't in good conscience do anything to jepodise that.

I'm sad too because my ex has indicated he would like to have Rye on Christmas Day and overnight too.. and ok Yule is the important festival to me, still though, it feels horrible knowing Rye won't be here with me.  I'll make Yule extra special and rather Rye just opening a few pressies, I'll do it that he opens them all, we have our big Yule feast etc.  It's the first time he won't have been with me for Christmas Day, so yeah, gonna be very weird.

And then on a totally different axis, is a horrible situation with my bestfriend.  We have mutual friends and there's been lots of misunderstandings etc and some friends have pulled away and my friend has been oblivious just thinking that everyone has had a lot on their plates.  Yesterday, it's sort of come to a head when one of those friends made a comment to another which just caused confusion and I decided it was time she knew that there was tension and she needed to talk to a mutual friend and finally see if the air could be cleared etc.  But of course, this is something that I've been keeping stum about for a while now - mainly because I was worried about how hurt she would be.  She is such a gentle and loving soul and takes the weight of the world onto her shoulders.  If she knew she'd unwittingly upset people etc she would be gutted... so in my so obviously not infinite wisdom, I decided to keep stum and hope a bit of distance would let these other people cool off a bit and my best mate has had a lot on her plate too.  And frankly from what I gather a lot of this misunderstanding has come from someone misunderstanding a chance phrase etc and then it getting passed on, twisted as things are wont to be and actions, words all of a sudden taking on a whole new meaning until folks are cancelling social events and so forth.  It's all got rather ridiculous.

Trouble is, by saying to my friend that she needs to speak to the others and there's been misunderstandings etc that I have also contributed to all this, because obviously she's now very upset and very angry, she wants to know what's been said but I've been vague because I don't fully understand it all as I only learned all about it fairly recently and I'm acutely aware that from my point of view, a lot of the problem has come from misunderstanding what has been said/done and as its discussed, speculation has been spouted... and over time I think those speculations have become pseudo fact - in short it msiunderstandings have taken on a life of their own.  And I don't remember exactly what was said, so I'd be trying to give her the gist, which really would only accerbate the problem, because then she'd want to discuss it, as you do, and it's not with me it all needs discussing.  I can only give my opinion and what I think has gone on.

Thing is though, I have still kept this from her rather than letting her know immediately there was an issue, so I suspect she's feeling a little betrayed too.  A close friend of us both called me this morning to let me know that my bestfriend is going to call and talk with one of the others etc but then she's going to go to ground and doesn't want to be contacted until at least after Samhain.  I'll respect her wishes, just sad that she's hurting so much and I'm a part of that hurt. :(


Mel said...


remember to breathe....


Dawn said...

You're a great Mom - putting Rye first over the whole Christmas Day thing, it must be hard but at least your Yule together will be extra special. Rye's a lucky boy.

Hope your friends "misunderstandings" gets sorted too.

nocton4 said...

Big love darling to you and your wonderful son.
You are amazing, remember that always.

bettywobble said...

Massive hugs to you hon, Rye is a lucky boy to have such a wonderful mama