I promised myself once the funeral was out of the way, the excuses would fade away and I would continue my journey on learning to live a more healthy and wholesome life.
So, the ciggits have gone.
A large shop has been made - no excuse for reaching for the phone for takeaway now.
And I shall once again commense with the yoga and this time add in the belly dancing too.
I also plan to treat myself to a bike for my birthday on the 4th June. Rye is on the cusp of riding a pedel bike, and I would very much like to take him out on bike rides.
Oooh and I must start taking Rye swimming again. Ok I may not get to actually swim much, but still walking around the training pool and chasing after Rye etc is still exercising and toning my body! All good stuff.
LOL and yes, the photos of the family taken after the funeral once again opened my eyes to just how much space I inhabit. I do know really of course, but after a while that wee protective part of me that is very good at convincing me I'm not that big, wins out and that's when the weight starts to creep upwards again.
The weight has now become a great burden and is affecting my health.
I would really rather the next funeral I have to attend is not my own. I want to live, I want to see Rye grow up, I want to cuddle grandchildren, I want to raise merry hell in the nursing home.
And right now, I want more energy, I want to enjoy playing with my son, I want to be able to run around with him, kick a ball, chase him, leap over waves down at the beach.
I want to live.