Exciting Times.

A bit of a splurge here.  This did end up being a lot more expensive than anticipated because the postage was really quite high, so justify it I ended up ordering a whole host of knights too. 

 A hair cut.  A slight regression, Rye had an attack of the anxiousitis.  With some firm words, coaxing, and yes a bribe of chocolate, the job got done.

 Kearsney Abbey.  So frustrating, it was beautiful and sunny in the morning; afternoon it rained and the temperature dropped significantly.  Brrrrr.

 Saturday Rye was picked up by his dad.  That evening I'd organised the Great Trampoline Erection and Bbq.  Trampoline went up super fast, the bonfire tripod bbq was admired, and the food nommed..**cough** and a wee bit of cider and wine might have been consumed too....

Sunday, I was up at stupid o'clock to pick up a friend to drive over to Essex to see another friend, and go car booting.  Amazingly, and thankfully, I did not have a hang over, and despite the five hours maximum of sleep I may have got, I was fine.  On the way back from Essex I called into the ex to pick up Rye.

 And brought him home to show him his surprise.  That grin says it all :-))

 While car booting Sunday, I managed to pick up Rye some of the Bob the Builder vehicles, so today has been mostly trampolining and playing in the sandpit.  Interspersed with me reading the Iliad and the Odyessey, by Marica Williams to him, and the Centipedes 100 shoes. 

Both books arrived in the very large Amazon order.  13 story CDs, most of the Sir Cumference books, several of the Marica Williams books, Kingfishers encyclopedia of history, the rest of the story of world volums, and a few other story books recommended by The Well Trained Mind book.  Plus I also downloaded classic children stories for the Kindle Ap; secret garden, five children and It, the railway children, etc.  Oh and a couple of the Bones series on DVD for me.

So far, my reading into classical education is exciting me; and I'm struck by similarities with Waldorf in terms of child development.  I very much like the classical educations emphasis on language and literature, including how history, science, and literature are linked chronologically.  Back in my day grammar wasn't taught.  Well, I remember the odd lesson on nouns, verbs and pronunciation; and I do mean the odd lesson.  Personally, I feel understanding grammar is important.  It is not a strong point for me, and so will be an interesting learning curve for myself too.

These early years, in Classical terms, are the grammar years; the building blocks of learning to come, that will be built upon.  There is an emphasis on oral learning, memorization, and as writing develops; copying from classical education.  Comprehension, logic, rhetoric, these elements come in much later.

Already I am pondering our circle time, which admittedly has fallen by the wayside recently.  The children enjoy circle time, and the classical reading scheme, the encouragement to learn simple poems to memorise the vowel names and sounds etc; reading fairy tales and adaptions of classics for young children; all these things I can add into our circle time easily.  From a childminder's perspective too, nicely fits in some of the EYFS learning goals.

I like I can bring these elements into our life without ramming it down Rye's throat.   I am enriching his  playing and learning environment, while remaining true to my beliefs that young children need to play and they need freedom to play without undue adult direction or interference.  The caveat being if they ask for input.

I wonder too if Rye's enjoyment of workbooks is a natural desire within him, for a richer learning environment. 

Truly, these are exciting times.

Am I daft?

We have outgrown this house; primarily because of the childminding.  My lounge is a playroom, dinning room..a lounge, of sorts.  The lounge is tiny too and I have deliberately kept furniture to the minimum to maximise floor space.    I find myself longing for a space that is more adult orientated.  I rarely invite friends over because we sit in a room that is dominated by children; indeed until recently there was no other seating, except a bean bag.  I have replaced that recently with a chair. 

I may have a solution, it is dependent on a number of factors, nonetheless I am considering asking my landlady for permission to build a conservatory on the side of the house.  At the side of the house there is a huge amount of wasted space.  These houses have very long drives, however, the drive as it goes up against the house is quite narrow and only a small car could fit there (especially as my neighbour's drive alongside,has a raised concrete slope down to my drive, which further limits space for opening car doors).

My landlady has indicated that she's happy to keep me as tenant for as long as possible, I would need to have a conversation to pin down her future plans, as obviously, if I go to the expense of having a conservatory built I will want to know I'm going to be there long term.

And long term this house is pretty ideal: it's in a great location for my business, a nice quiet area, a nearby park, easy walking distance to other amenities, walking distance of schools for pick ups.  The house itself, while small is a good size for Rye and myself.  And if I did have a conservatory built, thus my lounge becoming a "proper" lounge, I would be very tempted to let Rye have the bigger bedroom and I'd sleep in the smaller bedroom.

I keep wondering if I'm daft to consider the expense over moving to a larger property.  There are several reasons why I'm hesistant to move:

1.  Many landlords do not allow businesses to be run from their properties.
2.  There is the unknown of a new landlord/lady.
3.  Agency fees
4.   Probably need to move again after a few years
5.  Unknown factor of neigbours.  My current neigbours are pretty good.

The other alternative is a large insulated shed alongside the house.

So am I daft?  I can't decide.

This is why

I now call Folkestone home;

 Playing on the pebbled beach where the stone circle is.

 The groyn, and on the hillside, pretty beach sheds, newly painted.

Looking out over the English channel, we could see France on the horizon.

 Searching for hagstones, and indeed,, just filling the bucket with stones to bring home... and impressively he carried the bucket all by himself - I refused.

 Walking along a windswept coastal path.  We had planned to go rockpooling, but it was very windy indeed and the sea was rather rough, so we decided not risk children being washed off the rocks into the sea.

 Strange creatures... we assume some sort of sea louse?  We'll look it up in a minute.

 And the fabulous coastal park.  Seriously, this park is fantastic; there's large climbing frames, slides, sandpits, sensory areas, zip wires, sunken pirate ship (above) not to mention fabulous trees for climbing, a steep hillside to give parents' heart attacks as children climb up and slide down.... just a fabulous place, love it.

All that play is darn thirsty work!  (And yes he conned me into buying him a chocolate icecream, evidenced by his dirty face!)

Transfixed by the "Planet Dinosaur" on iplayer.

And it's not just the coast or  the parks, it's the people.  Our local home ed group contains a lovely bunch of people; with whom good friendships have been formed.   Folkestone is definitely "home".  I've always thought of Yorkshire as "home"; even though I've not lived in Yorkshire for over 15 years, and for many of those years longed to move back "home".   

It is good to feel settled, to feel I'm "home"; I rather suspect its a big part of why I am so happy these days, and, of course, my son is incredibly happy too.

Yes this is a very good place to live.

Plastic.

Plastic is beginning to find a foothole in this 'ere house.
I ain't overly enthused, but it would be disrespectful to ignore Rye's interests, and quite possibly be delaying his development...

So, when Shell from My Handmade Haven advertised that she had toys she wanted to sell, I had a nosey.  Ooh lovely myriad toys and I did indulge a wee bit and requested the transporter below...... but Shell was also selling a huge banana box of duplo lego and a rather lovely cooker... I tapped my fingers, I'm ummed and arred and then I asked her to look into postage costs... and wow, about £12 to have the lot couriered to me!

So I splurged and my house is now awash with duplo lego, it's only a matter of time before there is a lego induced injury to this mama... which I'm reliably told is one of the rites of motherhood, lol.

 

 And there's the cooker.  Ooohhh, so lovely.  Yes I know already got a cooker, a perfectly servicable ELC one... for a while now though I've had the idea of setting up some play areas outside;  we have the sandpit area, there's the rug on the decking for various toys to be played with on it... and I thought it would be really nice to set up a "kitchen area" for the kids to play too.  I was going to buy one of the kids gazebo's to go over it, to give a bit of protection and shade, although I'm currently having fingers on chin waggling moments and re-thinking about that, perhaps I could make a shade.... 

There are a few other toys that are plastic that have made it into the house, and been snuffled away for Yule, a remote controlled 4x4 and a stunt hoop a hoop track for all those diecast cars Rye has accumulated from various charity shops.   Oooh and the bubble machine above, still that is a rather nifty contraption and did turn my garden in a bubble haven earlier, the colours of the bubbles shimmering and the kids running around.. it was quite otherworldly.  Beautiful.  And while Rye is slowing outgrowing many of the wooden toys... brio is not one of them, so I've treated him to a brio delux expansion set AND a brio remote controlled train.

I have always had some plastic, the sandbox toys are plastic..and I quickly discovered the sand can damage wooden toys  a LOT, so I picked up a few secondhand diggers, bob the builder vehicles etc from charity shops and they live in the sandpit, and then a couple of the ride ons are plastic - again second hand, the balls, space hopper etc.

Still indoors, it was wood haven, beautiful, new and secondhand wooden toys arranged on shelving and on the window sill... so beautiful almost ornamental.... and now my floor is covered with duplo.  Still, I thank my lucky stars, Rye is very rarely exposed to advertisements and because at home he only watches DVD's he has no idea about, er Ben10 is it?  And other toys like that, toys which do make me cringe because they seem so, I don't know, so brass, the colours jarring... so at least my home won't be invaded by that gawd awful stuff.  (Although I accept that one day he might want toys of that nature.... urgh, hope not lol)

Still, after the toy splashing out, that's Yule pretty much sorted, and for his birthday I'm seriously considering getting him a sit on digger for his sandpit,http://www.amazon.co.uk/Childrens-Metal-Garden-Sandpit-Digger/dp/B000LRZXLS/ref=reg_hu-rd_dp_img    If we get snow, I'm sure he will enjoy digging that as much as the sandpit...lol.

Health.

I promised myself once the funeral was out of the way, the excuses would fade away and I would continue my journey on learning to live a more healthy and wholesome life.

So, the ciggits have gone. 
A large shop has been made - no excuse for reaching for the phone for takeaway now.
And I shall once again commense with the yoga and this time add in the belly dancing too.

I also plan to treat myself to a bike for my birthday on the 4th June.   Rye is on the cusp of riding a pedel bike, and I would very much like to take him out on bike rides. 

Oooh and I must start taking Rye swimming again.  Ok I may not get to actually swim much, but still walking around the training pool and chasing after Rye etc is still exercising and toning my body!  All good stuff.

LOL and yes, the photos of the family taken after the funeral once again opened my eyes to just how much space I inhabit.  I do know really of course, but after a while that wee protective part of me that is very good at convincing me I'm not that big, wins out and that's when the weight starts to creep upwards again.

The weight has now become a great burden and is affecting my health. 
I would really rather the next funeral I have to attend is not my own.  I want to live, I want to see Rye grow up, I want to cuddle grandchildren, I want to raise merry hell in the nursing home. 
And right now, I want more energy, I want to enjoy playing with my son, I want to be able to run around with him, kick a ball, chase him, leap over waves down at the beach.


I want to live.

My "Witchcraft".

I say "my", because if you were to ask 5 different witches what witchcraft is, you would get five different answers.

My own path is near on impossible to seperate from my life in general. I weave my magic into all aspects of my life; and it is a natural part of everything I do and make. I make offerings to the local wights, (nature spirits, originially from Norse mythology). I keep a couple of alters; one is in my bedroom and is my main alter that I use for focusing. The second is our season table. A family alter. This is a celebration of the seasons, a passage of time; it is where we bring nature into our home, and where Rye learns about magic, about the web we are all a part of and, I hope where he learns a love and respect for the land that provides for us and nutures us. It is a place of wonder for him, and a place where he can make his own offerings and focus his own energies. The season table has very practical usages too - it is beautiful, it helps to feed his imagination and his soul and it can be a wonderful teaching tool.

I celebrate most of the festivals that make up the Wheel of the Year. This is a modern invention; but I do not care, it is a useful benchmark for different times during the year and these festivals are made more personal by adapting to suit my family and as time continues, we forge our own traditions; which I do hope Rye will one day pass onto his own children.

I mark the boundaries of my home, I set protection wards, I cleanse my home periodically and I fill the place with love. I concot "potions", I make poppets, I wishmake, I give thanks, I meditate, pathwork, and I live by a set of principals which are based around responsibility for self and responsibility to family and community.

I do not have patrons gods/goddesses. I sometimes work with particular gods or goddesses but I have thus far avoided being claimed. I do have a familiar, as it were, although he only shows when I need reminding that life is circular and when one things ends, another begins, **smile** ok, when I need a kick up the backside.

I do not follow wiccan principals of harm none or the three fold law. I do not label myself white or, indeed any other colour when it comes to witchcraft. It is a rather modern thing to do; and is mainly done to try and reclaim "witch" from its negative conotations. It is, in my mind, a very clumsy attempt and simply muddies the water further. I also feel it is a subjugation of one's self, which is a very dangerous and unhealthy thing to do. Along with the idiotic belief that if you give out love you won't be hurt. Poppycock!

I do not dance in the woods naked. I do not sacrifice animals; although I may offer a meat offering if appropriate. I cannot fly on a broomstick - be rather cool if I could. I do not, and I doubt anyone ever did, use the infamous "flying ointment" - have you seen the ingredients that is suppose to make it up???? Nor do I dance with the devil - I'd have to be a preverted christian to do so, as the devil is part of the christian pantheon. Although I do smile when pagans get their knickers in a twist when the boring old discussion of whether you can be a christian and witch or magic user ? Many pagans will claim you can't be both, ignoring that much of the magical tradition and occult is very much based around christian/catholic and judatic mysticism. (Such magic is often termed "High Magic" and is highly ritualistic and very involved.. the magic I, and most Witches perform is called "low magic" and is much, much less dangerous to one's mental health.. at least if even half of what I've read is true about high magic).

In short, my witchcraft is a craft that is based around home and hearth. I use my skills for the advantage of my home, family, friends and those that feel nudged to help. I work with nature not against it and I do not attempt to control or manipulate people. And you know what, I leave well alone most of the time.. because a Witch's greatest asset is to know when to let it be.

Waldorf Kindergarten.

After my musings on achieving a better balance between childminding and spending time with Rye, and having time to pursure my pleasures - I've also been thinking about our daily rhythm, which frankly has been non-existant and the days have been semi chaos for far too long.

I needed the chaos to encourage myself to realise that my current "laid back parenting", wasn't fulfilling our needs.  The children seemed to have stagnated; their play is frequently based around running around, screaming, teasing, screaming some more and a degree of silliness that I was finding increasingly difficult to tolerate.

I also had been reading Carrie's blog over at The Parenting Passageway, and from there searching the net for information on Waldorf Kindergarten, reading my own notes I'd taken when reading books on the Waldorf approach etc, and late last night I wrote a daily rhythm - initially I got a tad carried away, and timetabled every minute from 8:30am-7:00pm.  Laughed at myself for such ridiculousness; that sort of schedule would simply have me clock watching and was far too rigid for what I truly wanted.

Finally, I created a rhythm based around the routine already in place for my mindee.

• Arrival:  Songtime / Yoga.
• Free play / outdoor play.
• Snack time 
• Activity / project suitable for both children.
• Free play / outdoor play
• Tidy up before lunch.
• Lunch.  (C naps for approx 2 hours after lunch)
• "Main Lesson":  Seasonal Crafting.
• Quiet time / stories.
• Snacktime
• Park/ nature walk/foraging.
• Song & music 
• Teatime
• Storytime.

 Once my mindee leaves after teatime, there will be a quick tidy up and then the countdown to bedtime, which involves "connecting playtime", an idea based on Playful Parenting, in which Rye has my sole attention for 15-45 minutes (depending on how long tidy up takes) and he chooses the play/activity and I join in and follow his lead; the idea behind this is to renew the connection between us and simply for us both to have some dedicated fun time together. 

I've noticed Rye has taken some developmental leaps very recently; his verbal skills are wonderful and he's a   lot more chatty - LOL sometimes it feels like he never stops yakking!  He's finally using the pedals on the tractor, he's found a way to swing himself on the swings:

He can achieve quite a height with this "tummy surfing" technique... we'll gloss over him propelling himself competely over the swing seat moments after taking this photo - lol.  It was, a beautiful swan dive.  His fine motor skills are very good too.
But as I say, the children seem to be stuck in a rut.  Their play quickly spirals into squabbling and silliness and they spend an inordinate amount of time running in and out of the house screaming at each other - enough to send me searching for chocolate or alcohol.. heck both!  There are moments of loveliness of course.  During tidy up time C will pick up the train tracks and give them to Rye who is waiting by the basket to put them away, same with the cars.

I'm also very aware that Rye will be four in four short months, and while I have no intention of introducing academics; I do want to encourage activities, crafting, building up on his knowledge of nature, and help him gain more confidence in his abilities.  Encourage and give oportunities for further development of gross and fine motor skills; essentially the building blocks of more formal academic work - the way the years are passing, he'll be 7 before I know it :-)

Naturally, my plan to implement the new rhythm went awry this morning because I slept in and it was the sound of the rubbish being collected that propelled me out of bed, mere moments before my mindee's mum knocked on the door.  I'm not a morning person, it takes me a while to vanquish the fog of sleep and feel an ethusisam for the day - so today's rude awakening set things back rather dramatically.

Not a complete loss, I had last night actually planned today's "main lesson", including, finally, painting the clay cut outs etc Rye and I made weeks ago!  Neither planned activity happened but I was determined to do something with Rye; so we did enjoy outdoor play; both in the garden and the park; and I made a mental note to go back in the next day or so to harvest some of these beautiful hawthorn berries.

Rye helped to prepare lunch, while C looked on anxiously; I think she thought she wasn't getting any food.  Then while she napped, Rye and I re-did the season table to fit in better with Autumn's early arrival:

After lunch tomorrow, once C has gone home, Rye and I will pop into town to pick up a few crafting supplies.  I would like to us to make a big tree to go behind the season table, from which we'll hang leaves, leaf rubbings, leaf banners, etc.

And after that I decided it really was time to cut Rye's hair; he's shouting "Smile".

Ahhhh much better, can see his eyes now!

I'm hoping adding rhythm to the day, while still allowing for flexibility to go with the flow when required, will revitalise the children's play and their imaginations and renew the fun and joy of our homelife.

Musings.

I've been musing about boys and attitudes towards boys.  In part this is prompted by a few daft groups that have been set up on Facebook and common phrases like, "that's men for you".  I remember being told too that I have a great responsibility to ensure my boy grew up to be a decent man because there are so few in the world.

I laughingly told a dear friend a few nights ago that men aren't great at communication.  Afterwards I felt annoyed with myself.  Utter tosh, men can communicate, they can express themselves, otherwise we wouldn't have the fantastic artists, writers, inventors etc that we do have, and have had. I began to wonder if its the expectation that they can't that stunts the ability in some men?  Or, perhaps we haven't learned to listen in the way men need to be listened to.  I think one of the greatest inequalities of the ideal of equal opportunities is that it's taboo to admit there are differences between the sexes.  Although when it comes to expressing emotions and expressing needs culture has a lot to answer for; "big boys don't cry,", I've found this phrase nearly parting my lips occasionally and had to bite it back. 

Having a son for a child, is forcing me to look at this cultural influence and sterotypes and challenging my own biases, perhaps even arrogance?  Rye as a 3yr old is emotional, loving, energetic and he expresses his joy and love physically.  He is a big into cuddles, he liks to give and receive kisses, he loves to cuddle in bed nad to sleep with his head resting on my arm.  I think the lady who told me my challenge is to ensure I teach Rye to be decent, was wrong, I think my challenge is provide an environment where he can safely continue to express those emotions, that joy, along with the tears, the shouting, the scowling and huffing.  Where his hugs are received with joy, his kisses with appreciation and his tears, his expressed needs with understanding and love.  And also to combat to some degree the culture influence that "big boys don't cry".