That's me at the mo. I'm juggling a lot of things currently to keep us afloat. Financially things are really tough, I've never had such a long period without a full time or nearly full time minding contract and my savings are well and truly gone now. I'm nervous about making appointments for benefits; there is a possibility that because of the inheritance (that's now gone -i.e. that was my savings) , I could be refused Housing Benefit. I'm a great believer in positive thinking; I've started getting inquiries about childminding, so fingers crossed, I'll be drawing up new contracts soon. I'm working hard on Hooky Delights; actually I'm blown away, while I'm not making a liveable income, those extra pennies are certainly going a long way to helping out financially.
There is a degree of guilt though - I should have done xyz, being more careful, blah, blah. I try not to dwell, life is for living, and again I believe in peaks and troughs, I believe in looking forward not backward. Financially, yup it's hard; but actually this period of extreme austerity (for me), is a good thing; it's helping me to get back into the frugal living vibe and once my bank balance is healthier again, I will have a good perspective about what I'm earning. I think if I'd gone from having a lot of disposable income, like I did last year, to going back to my normal earnings, it would have been difficult to adjust. This way I've been forced to live within a very meagre means. After these past few months, anything else will feel like a lottery win!
Part of the juggling is time too. Hooky Delights is being more successful than I dreamed. While I'm not earning a livable income, the pennies earned are a very welcome addition to the family purse... and once the childminding increases, pennies from Hooky Delights will be saved for treats for us both.
The lack of pennies has been good for Rye too; I'd not noticed how use he'd become to getting whatever he wanted whenever he asked. Not that he's terribly spoilt, but yeah, I enjoy indulging when I can. These months of austerity have been punctured with discussions with him about how pennies have to be earned, and that I do not have pennies for xyz, instead pennies have to be saved for food and bills. I think he is beginning to understand that I'm not an endless supply of cash. He does still ask, often he will answer for me, and tell himself there's not enough pennies. And bless him he keeps asking if I will teach him to crochet so he can make things to sell too.
Playing jester means also my time is being juggled, between minding, crocheting, parenting, home education... there's that voice in my head remonstrating me, telling me I'm not spending enough time with Rye, that I'm failing him educationally... and then he astounds me. Last night he put together the alphabet train jigsaw together on his own. While he sings the alphabet song, I didn't realise until last night, that he actually understood what he was singing. We read "How Big is a Million" again too, and wow, his reading is going from strength to strength. Ok he memorised much of the book; nonetheless, it's quite a wordy book and that he can read most of it, is brilliant. Right this minute has I type, he's sat on the floor writing letters... and wow, he's actually holding the pen properly without the writing aid! He does mental arithmetic pretty well, he is creative, he enjoys trying to find where the countries go in world (it's an iphone ap), or looking at the inventions ap, which shows him how a hairdryer, train, etc works. He chatters away, and every now again he tells me a fact that I suddenly realise is correct and I wonder how on earth he knows. The iphone has featured greatly recently, yet, I am pleasantly suprised and gratified how much he is getting out of it.
Have a lovely Tuesday, and remember look for the joy!