Samhain 2015

Samhain Blessings!

One of my favourite festivals.
Welcoming the dead, honouring the ancestors, bonfires, pumpkin carving, spooky music, meditation, divination, offerings to the dead; it is a wonderful festival.

I particularly like this festival because it removes some of the taboo and fear around the dead.  In a society that likes to keep it's distance from death, Samhain brings home that death is simply a part of life.  With my son, I mix the commercial fun elements of Halloween with the spiritual of Samhain.

My alter, after my boy was born, was transmuted into a season table.  It serves the same function; brings nature indoors, provides a sacred space, a focus point for meditation, spell work and offerings. Additionally, its a fun way to include the boy in my traditions and festival celebrations.  Those glass pumpkin jars, he made those when he was three years old.  There's two large horse chestnut leaves we soaked in glycerine to preserve and season swap gifts from other mamas.  Our season table represents both the spiritual, magical and the family and community we surround ourselves with.

This year I helped my lad make his own costume.  Part traditional Yorkshire thriftiness, part dislike of commercial costumes and part a enthusiasm for making and "upcycling".

He decided he'd like to be Herne the Hunter, who according to pagan legend rides again on Samhain, leading the hunt.  He is often linked to Cerrunos and Pan; although Herne is a spirit not a god; his association with hunting and forests though means he is often lumped in the same category.  Herne has another association, which made me choke back laughter on the mental images I had when my boy suggested dressing up as Herne.  Most statues of Herne feature an enormous phallus; he is considered to be a potent fertility and sex symbol.

I curbed my sense of mischief, and maneouvered my boy towards a  "Green Man" type representation of Herne.  Oh my goodness, what a success, he loved making the mask, he was thrilled by the reaction of his friends to his costume and he was enthralled by the story of Herne and King Richard.



Later he designed a face for his pumpkin, then we took it downstairs and he carved it alongside the other children carving theirs.  Then it was time for him to go trick or treating, and for me to go and sit by the bonfire outside, and stare into the flames, drink cider, eat cake and roasted chestnuts while the now lit pumpkins kept evil spirits at bay.

Eventually the children returned laden with sweets.  Some were ritually burned, (they really did come back with a LOT!), they played in the dark, and we stayed by the fire.
Near midnight, the flames had died away until there were only the dancing embers.  We watched them for a while before ambling upstairs.  My boy had brought his pumpkin back up and relit it in front of the season table, including all the other candles.  He was awed.
Soon afterwards, I sent him to bed, spent some time with my passed family and then off to bed I went myself.


A truly magical Samhain.

Poulton Woods.

Despite the decidedly wintery weather, we did venture out yesterday; suitably togged up!

 Rye and me met up with some friends at Poulton Woods near Ashford, and had a thoroughly lovely time.  The bluebells were beautiful too!

 Poulton wood is quite a small, managed wood, but oh it feels very magical indeed and there were many treasures to find.

 The folk who own the wood, apparently do a lot of wood carving too, and around the woods were various carvings, seats, tables, all thoroughly explored by the children.

 How fab is this boar!

 The children were very excited to find a tyre swing.

 I dubbed this the Green man tree, the children were fascinated and I showed them how to listen for the tree's heartbeat, lol they were too excited tho to listen properly.

 And this fantastic tree is an ancient cherry tree, full of bumps and lumps and interesting shapes.  Rye announced these bumps were the tree's noses.

 A wishing tree.  The kids loved it, I admit to be being slightly appalled, as really offerings should be biodegradable and those ribbons most definitely are not... I admit tho, it did look pretty with the ribbons fluttering in the wind.  We suggested next time we visit that we bring the tree an offering and make it some natural gifts.

 Look!  a fox lol.

 Poulton Woods also is home to wood works and I believe people with learning disabilities work the wood here, there's also lovely places to sit after a walk round the woods to enjoy a cream tea.  We were to late out of the woods for one tho.

 Loved this owl at the entrance!

 Look at the roundhouse!  Fanastic!

Outside the wood there was  grassy area for picnics and these fabulous willow structures!  It was raining hard at this point and after 2 hours of walking around the woods the kids had enough...... well until they saw the willow structures, then we had trouble dragging them away.   There's also a willow maze, which once grown properly will look fantastic.

I foresee many a trip back to Poulton Woods!

Spring cleaning continued.

Well, that's the downstairs nearly complete; I'll give the oven a clean, maybe tomorrow while the little 'un naps.. but for now I'm shattered and feeling very accomplished - going from this:

and this:

 

to this:

 

  

and a scrubbed floor

I am actually looking forward to getting in there tomorrow and cooking!

Rye has spent many a hour being enthralled with the threading beads:

 

Creating beautiful castles:

The new shelving also means I've brought down most of his books, including the "How things work" and "Cars" etc, it was such a book he was reading here;

 

 Until he heard the camera being turned on and shut the book and protested at me photoing him.  Humph. 

Inspite of the threatening clouds, I togged us both up and outside we went.  Rye had fun racing off ahead on his bike; and I'm finding it great exericse as it's forcing me to walk much faster than my usual slow amble.

The plan is to go out each day, rain or shine for at least a 10 minute walk and for Rye to have a ride on his bike.  In practise this will be relatively easy as I walk down inot the village for various activites during the week with the kids and for me its about a 20 minute walk each way... plus there's the walk to Kidz Planet which is about 25-30 minute walk each way too.

All part of my resolve to eat much much healthier and start listening to my body and stop ignoring the pain my vast weight is putting on my knees in particular, but also my legs in general, ankles and lower back.  

I am NOT going on a diet, nor am I setting myself any goals; instead I want to concentrate on feeling better, feeling more comfortable.  I'm not really fussed what I weigh solong I feel good, and at the moment I don't.

Part of the healthy eating will be to up the amount of raw food we consume and to explore new ways of cooking and to reduce even further refined foods, like white flour, pasta and white rice.  A procedure already much in progress, once the white flour I do have in the pantry is gone, it won't be replaced, I've now started purchasing wholewheat pasta and a 500g bag at a time.  I use to stock up on the 3kg bags, but I found because I had so much I was really over estimating how much to cook and ending up with masses of pasta and of course I would sit and eat it all.  And I'm finding a 500g bag is plenty for myself and the two kids for the week, sometimes longer.

I've changed my Riverford order so I receive salad veggies weekly, rather than fortnightly, and I've added a bit extra fruit to compliment the fortnightly fruit box I order; mainly so I can do some juicing too.

I'll be engaging my witchypooness too :-)  I've avoided using my magic after a spectacular mishap when I was a young 'un in the Craft - I wrote a spell to make me thin and I didn't really think it through... I found myself unable to eat AT ALL.  That was one spell that got de-constructed quick smart. 

It's not spells I need anyway, it's reconstructing how I view food, attitudes I have and working through a few left over issues from my childhood, which actually will kinda compliment my ongoing self work regarding my temper.  I guess 2010 is the year where I really try to become much more balanced.

And I have been getting nudges from the Universe too and really I can't ignore my body any longer, at this rate I'll be a cripple by the time I'm 40.

So it would appear I'm spring cleaning ME as well this year :-)

Feeling hopeful.

Filled out the forms last night and realised in the process that actually my shortfall this month isn't as much as I initially feared especially as I realised I have an extra income support payment at the end of the month - just how it works out with them paying me fortnightly. I hadn't accounted for that and from the next income support payment I will be receiving the full allowance which is about an extra £28 a month - not a lot sure, but I can eek out that sort of money for almost a month of food shopping if I have to.
As for the discretionary housing payments, I will find out early next week whether I'll be getting any help for a few months.

The lady I saw, gave me the distinct impression that she thought I would get payments for a couple of months, she seemed to be suggesting that the powers that be would look very favourably on the fact I've set myself up as a childminder and it's just a case of a family or two wanting me to mind their kiddies for them. Although, of course she did caution me, that she couldn't promise anything because it wasn't up to her. She said a slightly odd thing too, she told me I had an angel looking out for me and that she thought I would be ok and the childminding would be successful. Hey, I'll take all the encouragement and good vibes I can get!

So not totally out of the woods yet, nonetheless, it's all looking a little more promising and I've learned some valuable lessons. Cos you know, I can whinge about how I was given misinformation by the NCMA, I can whinge at EDF faffing around which has caused me no end of financial headaches and so forth - but all this would have been avoided had I simply called Ofsted before I finished work and asked them if my current CRB check was acceptable, instead of taking the NCMA's assurance it was. I wouldn't have resigned my job and sure my role with the KDAAT was at risk, but working for the council means I would have had first pickings at other jobs within the council and I could have worked for them until my registration etc came through... and then no hassles. Ahhh hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Not going to worry about it anymore now, I've done all the mundane stuff I can, including making and printing some posters to advertise my business and with any luck the County Council will have recieved my registration details from Ofsted and will send out the forms so I can put my business on the Children's Information Service website (it is the first port of call for parent's looking for any type of childcare). So now I trust it will pay dividends and the Gods will give everything a little nudge for me :-)

Solstice plans.

Yet another solstice to be celebrated with good friends, and yet more memories to be created. The year spent in Medway after the breakup with Rye's dad was lonely. I can't say I was miserable really because I was exceedingly glad to be free, but it wasn't fun either, and that year is enabling me to really appreciate the friends and life I now have here in Cheriton.

Me and Rye are staying over at Queenie's tomorrow night, which will be exciting for the little man as he'll be able to try out the Bob the Builder ready bed, I picked up for a song in a charity shop, and then early rising on Sunday to go down to the stone circle on the beach. Apparently the section is called the "Groin" because it's a manmade sea defense. It is a lovely area, with even a little bit of sand rather than all pebble. There are also some stunning chair sculptures down there. All of us in the Circle plan to meet down there and perform a little ritual, watch the sun rise, toast the sun and using salt dough and using natural objects make little sculptures that eventually will go back to sea as the tide comes in.

At the moment I'm trying to decide whether to take Rye down with us or leave him to sleep in the house with the boys. I kinda would like him to come I think, and if I take my mei tai he can be on my back all snug and if he wants go back to sleep he can.

Tomorrow I'll make the sun bread for the ritual and I'm thinking some muffins to take for an a pre-breakfast to eat on the pebbles might be nice too. I am really excited, I've come to really enjoy the impromtu rituals we do, it feels like we are making our own traditions and these are things I hope to pass to Rye as he grows into a man; along with the little magics, the bread made with warm intent and love, the muffins made with anticpation of the eating - little things that bring joy and warmth into a world that sometimes can seem very harsh. Even being in the kitchen with my boy, showing him how to make these foods is a magical event. The simple joy of being together, sharing an activity. Magic is a real force, but it also a state of mind too, it's the knowing, the loving, the being. It's walking on the land with awareness, love and a healthy respect. The earth is our mother, she nurtures us and the sky, the sun, winds, rain, the essence of life our father; the combination creating breathtaking beauty and sometimes intense fear and darkness; all a part of life, all to be celebrated and all to be respected.