In a blink of an eye.

The day began wonderfully, lovely cuddles with Rye and then later on in the morning our veg boxes arrived:

A mixed fruit and veg box, the salad box and milk, eggs, yoghurt and lemons.

I also have a bit of a glut of oranges so I made orange muffins:

Including a glut of apples and I realised there were a few pears too - so apple and pear crumble was prepared and then baked and enjoyed this evening.  

The morning also included a leisurely sit down in the garden while the children played

Colder than it looked though, the sun was lovely and warm; the breeze was a tad brass monkey's tho.  We stayed out until lunchtime and then came inside to warm up a bit.  

I even managed to enjoy a HOT cup of coffee

Then in a blink of an eye an altercation with my ex ruined the day for me and I've spent most of the evening alternating between fuming and being in tears.  

I could have eaten that entire apple and pear crumble but I haven't and instead enjoyed a small bowlfull.

Onwards and upwards eh, tomorrow will be better.

A simple, lovely day.

This morning was delightful.  Rye half skipped, half toddled through to my room and climbed on the bed and loomed over me with a big grin on his face.  He proudly told me he'd slept in his room all night, in his own bed.  I told him how proud I was and we had lots of lovely cuddles and snuggles - even a little breastfeed and to my utter suprise there was still a touch of milk there!  Rather randomly, he also told me that my other boob looked like a cake.

Then it was time to fling the duvet back and start the day - although it wasn't done with that much exuberance; I intensely dislike getting out of bed in the morning; not matter how well (or not), I've slept.  A cosy snug bed is just too delicious to leave.  Alas needs must. 

This morning deserved pancakes.  Rye had about 6 with a touch of golddust honey on them and I had two small ones and a pile of sliced pear and apple, and gorgeous blood orange freshly squeezed juice, mmmm.
My charge arrived and looked slightly miffed that she'd missed the feast, (we were just finishing up when she arrived), although, mostly she turns her nose up at pancakes.

The spotty lurgy is clearing up nicely, spots all drying up so contagion over and even higher spirits resumed.  At 9:30am I suggested a walk; both children raced to the door.  Togged them both up and Rye enjoyed a ride around on his bike and C tottered in her new wellies.  Bit grey and murky, oh so nice to be out in the fresh, if nippy, air and both kids clearly relished stretching their limbs.

Watching the seagulls as they swooped and dived and made a unholy racket

We arrived back home in time for snack time, which the children virtually inhaled.  Nothing like a bit of fresh air and exercise to improve the apetite :-)  While they devoured my vegboxes arrived;

A mixed fruit and veg box, salad box and then yoghurt, milk, eggs, lemons and blood oranges as extras.  I have a lot of lettuce; there was a lettuce in both boxes and I have a couple bags of water cress from last week still left over and another lettuce.  LOL we'll be eating a lot of greens this week.  Maybe have a go at a green juice.  Thank goodness for my salad leaf dryer, makes quick work of drying leaves after washing them in salted water.

After snacktime, we played with the jigsaw puzzles again and I even brought out the xlyaphone and little electronic keyboard, which both kids played quite tunefully, rather than just bashing the heck out of em.  We were having so much fun with the puzzles, reading, music and singing songs that it was my rumbling tummy that gave hint lunch time was nearing.  We had some of the left over dahl and rice for lunch, including fresh bread rolls - well actually these were suppose to be Nigella's flatbreads but I'm assuming the overnight proving and use of wholemeal is why didn't turn out particularly flatbreadish, (normally, they are kinda like a thicker pitta bread).

Prettiness isn't perhaps a word to describe the look of these breads; but mmmm, very, very tasty.  Once lunch was over, naptime for C.  I barely read a page of my book before the Sandman worked his magic.  I came downstairs to discover Rye nodding off to cbeebies.  Cheerfully turned that off and pottered in the kitchen and then online while sipping a lovely hot cup of coffee, mmmm, bliss.

Tea was delicious, roasted vegetables with halloumi cheese and rosemary, with dressed salad leaves and a little more of the bread.  YUM.  Halloumi roasted is wonderfully delicious and it takes the edge off the squeakiness of the cheese.  Then it was time for the little one to go home and once she'd gone Rye requested we go outside again.  Well, how could I resist?  The murkiness of this morning had disappeared as the day wore on, until in the afternoon we had lovely bright sunshine and a brisk wind to accompany.

Loved the walk with Rye, very cold but again just lovely to be out of the house again.

Rye pointed out the moon to me - so beautiful.

We walked around sections of the estate I've not been around before.  All a muchness to be honest; and a bit claustophobic just how jampacked in the houses are and also such a waste of space too; the drives are really long but quite narrow so most people only park at the top end; but the entire stretch along the houses are either slabbed or concreted.  My drive is the same, and I lament at the loss of space frequently.  If I owned the house I'd rip it all up and reclaim the soil back, move the fence up and thus increase the size of my garden by quite a bit - especially as the small shed would  then fit on the reclaimed part.

Saying that, even if I had the cash, I wouldn't buy this house as it's too near the motorway, the houses are very small and well, I'd like a house with a bit of character if I were to buy.

Anyhow, back to our walk.  Inspite of the feeling of being enclosed in, and actually I live right on the edge of the countryside.. thing is, it's kinda blocked off by the M20, which is a shame because the countryside on my doorstep (almost), is the Downs; we had a lovely walk around and Rye thoroughly enjoyed himself and has really got the knack of the balance bike.  

When we arrived back home, he wanted to stay out in the garden for a bit, I watched him as I cleaned up the kitchen and he sat on his yellow tractor, and chattered away to the moon, waving and blowing kisses - bless him. :-)  Eventually, the cold got the better of him and he slammed back into the kitchen, decoated and wellied himself and then flung himself onto my lap and demanded cuddles. :-)

Then bath and bed.  The bed part too a wee while, but eventually after a few stories and a few renditions of the "Wheels on a Bus", he finally sighed and fell asleep. 

And now and nice hot cuppa, bliss.

Poxy Blessings.

Today has been filled with laughter and joy... oh and a bit of baking.  Mmmm perfect.
The children played on the bean bag, laughing and giggling as they fell on it, then rolled off; and generally got into big heaps.

We had fun playing with the jigsaws, and YAH! Rye seems to have passed the "I can't do it," and sulking stage and really had a good go at the jigsaws; most of which he can do now, so time to start looking for more complex ones I guess.  My charge had a decent go too; although she was more interested in holding the cat piece and shouting "CAT!"  lmao.

Thursday's are half days for my charge, so at 1pm, her mum picked her up.  I flumped onto the sofa with a cuppa and the laptop for half hour... and much to my amusement this was my various views as I looked up occasionally;

 I had wondered how long it would take him to figure something like that out lol.

He asked to play with the v'tec reader thingy; it's been sat on top of other book case for months, and today I was feeling magnamious, so I got it down for him.  The shorts disappeared in a frantic dash for the loo.  Rye is going through a somewhat frustrating phase of waiting too long to go to the loo, and thus wetting himself.  Most of the frustration is his because he is getting modest in his old age, and wants trousers on - 'cept he's going through 4 or 5 pairs a day and I simply cannot keep on top of the washing when I can't put clothes outside to dry.  Today has been a mostly dry day though, as I've sent him upstairs as soon as I've seen the slightest hint of a jig or willy holding.

And the poxy blessings?  Well, that's because normally on a Thursday I would be at HE Group with the kids, owing to the spotty lurgy we stayed home, so after C was picked up an afternoon home.  Well, the kitchen called me and as Rye had taken himself upstairs with his cars and the v-tec reader thingy, and after I checked just what he was up to; (cuddled in my bed watching Bob the Builder Dvd and playing with his cars), I delightfully stepped into my kitchen.

Quick tidy up; and then baking; well that was the plan; but then I decided to use up the last of the veggies because my Riverford Veg Box arrives tomorrow.  The plan initially was to make vegetable root soup; it morphed into red lentil curry with brown basmalti rice. YUM.  There is bread dough rising, I'll pop that in the fridge though and bake off in the morning - hmmm fresh bread.

And I was going to bake the lemony shortbread again; but just below that recipe was another for lemony bars.  It is basically a shortbread/buscuity base that is baked off; and then a lemony "custard" poured on top, which sort of seeps into the base, while a little stays on top.  Delicious; tastes a bit like a cross between lemon cheesecake and shortbread.  Very, very rich and tasty :-)

And then after tea; the rain began to pound against the window, the lightening flashed and a huge crack of thunder overhead.  Rye raced to the window to watch the storm :-)  It was a beauty, although over in flash ;-)

Spring cleaning continued.

Well, that's the downstairs nearly complete; I'll give the oven a clean, maybe tomorrow while the little 'un naps.. but for now I'm shattered and feeling very accomplished - going from this:

and this:

 

to this:

 

  

and a scrubbed floor

I am actually looking forward to getting in there tomorrow and cooking!

Rye has spent many a hour being enthralled with the threading beads:

 

Creating beautiful castles:

The new shelving also means I've brought down most of his books, including the "How things work" and "Cars" etc, it was such a book he was reading here;

 

 Until he heard the camera being turned on and shut the book and protested at me photoing him.  Humph. 

Inspite of the threatening clouds, I togged us both up and outside we went.  Rye had fun racing off ahead on his bike; and I'm finding it great exericse as it's forcing me to walk much faster than my usual slow amble.

The plan is to go out each day, rain or shine for at least a 10 minute walk and for Rye to have a ride on his bike.  In practise this will be relatively easy as I walk down inot the village for various activites during the week with the kids and for me its about a 20 minute walk each way... plus there's the walk to Kidz Planet which is about 25-30 minute walk each way too.

All part of my resolve to eat much much healthier and start listening to my body and stop ignoring the pain my vast weight is putting on my knees in particular, but also my legs in general, ankles and lower back.  

I am NOT going on a diet, nor am I setting myself any goals; instead I want to concentrate on feeling better, feeling more comfortable.  I'm not really fussed what I weigh solong I feel good, and at the moment I don't.

Part of the healthy eating will be to up the amount of raw food we consume and to explore new ways of cooking and to reduce even further refined foods, like white flour, pasta and white rice.  A procedure already much in progress, once the white flour I do have in the pantry is gone, it won't be replaced, I've now started purchasing wholewheat pasta and a 500g bag at a time.  I use to stock up on the 3kg bags, but I found because I had so much I was really over estimating how much to cook and ending up with masses of pasta and of course I would sit and eat it all.  And I'm finding a 500g bag is plenty for myself and the two kids for the week, sometimes longer.

I've changed my Riverford order so I receive salad veggies weekly, rather than fortnightly, and I've added a bit extra fruit to compliment the fortnightly fruit box I order; mainly so I can do some juicing too.

I'll be engaging my witchypooness too :-)  I've avoided using my magic after a spectacular mishap when I was a young 'un in the Craft - I wrote a spell to make me thin and I didn't really think it through... I found myself unable to eat AT ALL.  That was one spell that got de-constructed quick smart. 

It's not spells I need anyway, it's reconstructing how I view food, attitudes I have and working through a few left over issues from my childhood, which actually will kinda compliment my ongoing self work regarding my temper.  I guess 2010 is the year where I really try to become much more balanced.

And I have been getting nudges from the Universe too and really I can't ignore my body any longer, at this rate I'll be a cripple by the time I'm 40.

So it would appear I'm spring cleaning ME as well this year :-)

A fun day.

The morning started with chucking all the left over veg from my veg box in the slow cooker and then bolting out of the door with the kids and trundling down to Kidz Planet to meet up with the Home Ed group.  Rye was quivering with excitment, barely touched his porriage - indeed when I asked him if he wanted porriage for breakfast he said, "I don't want porriage anymore, I want to go to Kidz Planet", bless him.

Cor, it was busy though, so we've decided to avoid Friday's in future and try to stick to Mondays or Thursdays when it tends to be quieter.  No pictures I'm afraid, Rye was so busy having fun I barely saw him, every so often he woudl appear for a drink, or come and find where I was with my charge and stay for a few minutes before rushing off again to find the older children, or playing with kids around his age that weren't a part of our group.
My little charge had a lovely time too.

And before we knew it, time to come home.  Rye was exhausted and sat on the buggy board all the way home.  Once tea (the chuck everything in soup was delicious), was over and my charge had gone home, Rye asked to paint, too tired though, so I gave him some crayons and paper... it wasn't long though before he sat on the sofa with me and fell asleep.... In bed not long after 6pm :-)
I did snap a photo of him zonked out on the sofa:

Lazy Sunday.

I'm going through one of my bouts of insomina, I do fall asleep eventually but usually a few hours before I need to get up and so I start the day with that washed out feeling.  Largely its an uncomfortably firm mattress and a desperate need for new pillows.  So, I've bit the bullet and ordered a mattress topper and new pillows and the gods willing, I will once again enjoy the Sandman's entertainment.

Inspite of a much needed lie in this morning, the washed out feeling has remained, so putting on some soup seemed a very good idea, and there was a butternut squash from the veg box from Abel and Cole before the New Year that could do with being used and some beetroot.  I bought myself a slowcooker receipe book before Christmas too, and there's a carrot and beetroot receipe in there.  My crockpot is a 6.5 litre one and is split in two so I can do two different meals at the same time.  I did change the beetroot soup reciepe a little as the main flavour is beef stock - so instead I used vegetable bouillion and a capful of balsamic vinegar.  The butternut squash soup was an experiment. I've got some oranges needing to be used up too, and it occured to me orange and butternut squash could be a good combo.

The finished soups blended.

After the soups were bubbling away in the slowcooker, Rye and I settled on the sofa and before long he was softly snoring, so I surfed the web and caught up on blogs etc.  When he woke, he wanted to go out in the snow, so we donned warm clothes and ventured out in the dark.  It's significantly less cold - that's not to say it isn't cold.. it's just not skin freezingly bitter anymore.  The snow was even beginning to melt a little and on the roads its slush.  Tis to hope there's not a frost in the night otherwise the road will be horrific.
Bless Rye, he seemed rather unsure of this monster snow ball in the park:

Once back indoors it was naturally time for a bit of pirating;  "Yer money or yer life!"  Ohh, he's a bit lethal with that sword though, there was much ducking!

Then finally the soups were finished and blended and Rye enjoyed a bowl of the butternut squash, which he said, "Ohhhhhh yummy mummy," high praise indeed. :-)  And I tried the beetroot soup - wow a revelation.  I've never had beetroot soup before and did wonder if it would taste overly earthy... nope, its delicious, the red wine vinegar, added in the last hour of the cooking time, adds a lovely sour note to the sweetness of the carrot and beetroot and the earthiness is a subtle undertone.  Plus the colour; that ruby red is just soooo beautiful.

And then finally, a bit of a tidy up, the rephrasing of, "Time to tidy up Rye" to, "Lets see how quickly we can put the tree blocks in the bag," meant he helped without once uttering his favourite phrase of the moment, "I don't want to,"  A phrase that is testing my patience to the limit.  And I untied the strings on the pirate ship because I realised when untangling the strings the other day I somehow ended up with the sail on the wrong side of the mast, and put it right.

A blumming lovely day!

My first order from Riverford arrived today.  Very impressed, I bought the £12 something veg box and got carrots, parsnips, onions, broccoli, two squashes (onion squashes I think), and calabrese?  Looks like spring greens to me lol.  I also ordered a fruit bag which contained apples, oranges and grapes.  Rye immedately ate two of the apples and even my little charge enjoyed half of one.  Neither child seems keen on grapes - ah well, more for me then, because I love grapes.  I also bought a 5Kg bag of tatties, they will probably last me virtually the month.  I decided to fork out the extra because I bought the same sized bag from Asda, but it was their smartprice range, and the tatties were awful - constantly boiling to mush when trying to boil them to make mash or roasters and just completely lacking in flavour.  The organic tatties ,of course, are nearly about £3.50 more expensive, but taste alone makes it more than worth it!

Then not long afterwards my Myriad  order arrived.  Happy days.
I've been wanting the rainbow tunnel for Rye for, well it seems forever.  He was immediately entranced:

 

 

It was long before he was asking to make castles.....

 

Not quite sure who enjoyed this more, Rye or me ;-)

Once the blocks were tidied away, I decided to rejig our season table a bit, it is appropriately sparse at the moment:

The lovely felt bird was part of my season swap gift, along with a felt fig pudding and some white chocolate in the shape of santa, which was eaten almost before I got the wrapper off! And a candy cane that amazingly lasted until the tree came down.
Ah, and yes, I ordered one of the gnome houses too, I plan to buy them all, they are just so lovely and blue one is perfect on the season table.  I also picked up a tumbling gnome, a little taken back when it arrived as £2.25 seemed quite a lot for what it actually is.. although, I did end up playing with it on the treeblocks for ages.  

The other wing of the felt bird, it's a hare :-)

So cute!

Then while C had her afternoon nap, Rye painted, I like the tablet paints not quite so messy and not requiring as much supervision.. although clearly more than I gave... I was in the kitchen washing up, when I came checked in on Rye...he'd finger painted the wall - oops.

And finally the rainbow tunnel tidied away - Rye insisted on putting it this way because its a "petti castle".

Moochy Monday.

We woke to banging of the delivery man for our veg box. I was really stoked to see the oranges had been replaced with ruhbarb. So crumble later in the week for us :-)

Food wise it's been really nice today. We had brunch of organic apple, fair trade bananas, greek yoghurt with a smattering of cereal and then for tea we had organic sweet potatoe (picked up from the supermarket last week) and to go with it I made coleslaw from the cabbage and carrot in the veg box. Ever so tasty and Rye seemed to enjoy it too. Then he had another banana mashed into greek yoghurt.

For ages I thought I was still hungry, even though I had a large sweet potatoe and really piled on the slaw; then I realised that actually I am full it's just I don't feel bloated. I think Ineed to look at cutting down on stodge and bread, it does make me feel so lethargic and horribly bloated.

Rye's had fun playing in the garden and then indoors to do some drawing and requested I read many, many books to him. I had to call a halt in the end before I had story overload lol. Besides Dr Sesus's tongue twisters were starting to give me a dry mouth.

We also popped to the library (I also needed some mayo for the coleslaw and wasn't in the mood to make it myself), and picked upa host of books that I'd reserved, one being the Idle Parent, the others are pagany books mainly around the Northern traditions. I was planning to pick up Rye some different dvds but I didn't have enough after I paid for the mayo and a bottle of squash and the reservation fee for the books. I could have drawn out more money but I'm trying to limit what I spend.

Yep, read that book on the lady who lived ona pound a day for a year. It wasn't quite as practical as I hoped; but I have resolved to keep a better eye out for free events - although, unlike the author, not really for the free booze or coffee as I'm not that fussed about either. I was impressed by her hitchhiking adventures but it's not something I'd feel happy to do with a 2 year old. The book did remind me of how much I spend on stuff I really don't need. Going down to the beach with Rye can be costly; there's the carparking fee, and often I end up stopping at Morrisons to pick up a picnic and drinks because its a last minute thing and it would take too long to make something myself. So, some times I easily spend a tenner or more. I've resolved to take the bus in future. The carparking costs £1 per hour, so it works out really expensive, whereas a day return is £2.40. As for the food and drink, well I just need to plan a bit more in advance and really, it only takes 20 minutes top to make a pasta salad.

Plus for the next four weeks I'll be getting a weekly veg box to take advantage of Abel and Cole's offer of £50 credit if I spend £15 or more each week for four weeks. The offer wasn't clear though, so when I called them up to ask why the code wasn't working they nonetheless agreed to put it on for me, even though it's suppose to be only for first time users.

Living on a pound isn't practical for my circumstances; but I can most certainly reduce outgoings a little.


Ohhh and my tomatoe plants have wee little tomatoes on them - so exciting!

The irony.

Last night we had our lovely freerange chicken roasted with lovely organic roasted butternut squash, a different variety from what I have in the past bought from supermarkets, and organic carrots and spring veg. All very lovely and eaten with delight and gusto.

Come 3amish I am scratching like a maniac and thinking "Uh-oh" one trip to the bathroom confirms it; yep, I have bumpy skin, otherwise known as hives. My arms were worst affected with the hives; my back, thighs, knees, ribs and stomach covered in an itchy prickly rash. The hives have gone now and I'm just left with a very itchy rash which has spread up my torso and I can feel my face starting to tingle. Blah.

I avoided breastfeeding the little one this morning because, daft as it kinda sounds, I'm not sure if I can pass on the allergy through my breastmilk and so far the little man is unaffected. I shall google in a minute and see if I can find out...

The irony that it is organic veg that has done this to me is something I'm deliberately not pondering, although some quarters have found it quite amusing :P.

Afraid I haven't made it to the post office today Sarah, clothes make the itching worst, so I'm wearing as little as is decent to do so. I'll try and get to the post office in the next few days, probably Thursday.

"Booooooooobsss"

Tl'u's new word of the day. He climbs up onto my lap pats my boob and says "Boooooobsss", while looking most hopeful. How's a mother suppose to resist that eh?

I've started re-reading "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Aldort, because I'm finding gentle parenting with a 2 year old very difficult and frustrating. Quite often there are big clashes of will; being the adult I invariably win and that is just not how I want our relationship to work. Mainstream thought is so pernacious, the clashes come when I become stuck in the mindset that I am the parent and he is the child and he
WILL do as I tell him and he has to learn to be patient, let me hang the clothes up to dry, let me finish my coffee, let me sleep etc.

He will learn to wait and be patient... in time, presently my job is to respond to his needs and ensure he feels completely loved and secure. Aldort's book has reminded me of that, I'm not completely convinced by her argument that a child's decision/choice should always be respected, except where safety is an option though, but as always I will take what is useful from a text and discard what isn't.

Long and short of it is, unrealistic expectations were setting in again, along with the modern belief that children should be convenient and compliant.

It is about accepting that when tl'u wants my attention I need to give it, or find a solution that is palatable to both of us. Last night, for instance, he really wanted to be cuddled but I was in the middle of making tea. In the end I popped him in the ring sling and slid him around onto my back. He loved it; I enjoyed sharing the making of the meal with him, and I did not become frustrated and angry with him because his need was expressed at an inconvenient time.

Moving on, my veg box arrived! Gosh, look at the lovely array of vegetables. Those tomatoes are green tomatoes; as in Green Fried Tomatoes from the Whistle Top Cafe, I own the cook book so I think I'll have a go at making some to go with our rosemary and lamb sausages and Kohl Rabi mash.

This is a Kohl Rabi, looks a bit like turnip but tastes a bit like swede but sweeter. It can be eaten raw although for some people it can make their tongue sore; I think I may be one of those people, I only had a couple of pieces to see what it was like, and my tongue is tingling now.

Really chuffed with the veg box, I was getting a bit tired of copious amounts of carrots and parsnips, not to mention white onions.