Monday, 19 January 2009


Tl'u's new word of the day. He climbs up onto my lap pats my boob and says "Boooooobsss", while looking most hopeful. How's a mother suppose to resist that eh?

I've started re-reading "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Aldort, because I'm finding gentle parenting with a 2 year old very difficult and frustrating. Quite often there are big clashes of will; being the adult I invariably win and that is just not how I want our relationship to work. Mainstream thought is so pernacious, the clashes come when I become stuck in the mindset that I am the parent and he is the child and he
WILL do as I tell him and he has to learn to be patient, let me hang the clothes up to dry, let me finish my coffee, let me sleep etc.

He will learn to wait and be patient... in time, presently my job is to respond to his needs and ensure he feels completely loved and secure. Aldort's book has reminded me of that, I'm not completely convinced by her argument that a child's decision/choice should always be respected, except where safety is an option though, but as always I will take what is useful from a text and discard what isn't.

Long and short of it is, unrealistic expectations were setting in again, along with the modern belief that children should be convenient and compliant.

It is about accepting that when tl'u wants my attention I need to give it, or find a solution that is palatable to both of us. Last night, for instance, he really wanted to be cuddled but I was in the middle of making tea. In the end I popped him in the ring sling and slid him around onto my back. He loved it; I enjoyed sharing the making of the meal with him, and I did not become frustrated and angry with him because his need was expressed at an inconvenient time.

Moving on, my veg box arrived! Gosh, look at the lovely array of vegetables. Those tomatoes are green tomatoes; as in Green Fried Tomatoes from the Whistle Top Cafe, I own the cook book so I think I'll have a go at making some to go with our rosemary and lamb sausages and Kohl Rabi mash.

This is a Kohl Rabi, looks a bit like turnip but tastes a bit like swede but sweeter. It can be eaten raw although for some people it can make their tongue sore; I think I may be one of those people, I only had a couple of pieces to see what it was like, and my tongue is tingling now.

Really chuffed with the veg box, I was getting a bit tired of copious amounts of carrots and parsnips, not to mention white onions.


Naomi said...

How could you resist that indeed! Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe - have you seen it? I absolutely love that film. xxx

nocton4 said...

you amazing mama you .. stunning pictures of you feeding your gorgeous boy ... huge loving hugs
what a great mama

Joxy said...

I've got it on DVD Naomi, I watched it not so long back. I didn't make the tomatoes in the end, but I will cos I've always wondered what Green Fried Tomatoes taste like.... now don't say tomatoe :P

Ahhhh thanks for the compliment, not amazing though, just trying to do my best like the rest of us :) I do love breastfeeding, staring into those beautiful eyes and playing with his lovely soft hair.... mmmm best thing in the world me thinks.

arwen_tiw said...

Talking of recipes... Can I have your chocolate chip cookie recipe please? :D

And your new address, if you don't mind us having it, because we made something for a certain little boy for Solstice and then couldn't post it because we were both offline so long and I didn't have an address! xxx

Joxy said...

No probs, I'll send you a pm through gp.

Yep I'll post the cookie receipe too... mmm actually Imight make some today too.

I've got a couple of projects in the offing for the girls too, see if I can get them finished to night and then I can post in the morning - otherwise it will have to be Monday.