Friday, 6 November 2009

Mind like a sieve!

One more post to make, then caught up I think.

Wednesday was Rye's developmental check.  It didn't go well at all.  There was a wooden cube in reception of Caterpillars and the top twizzled around, which Rye loved.  So, he was not impressed when the HV called us - he spent the entire time trying to get out of the room to get back to the toy.  He did half come round when she got the foot ball out to see if he could kick a ball, he did and was happy to play with the ball, but she immediately took it off him and tried to get him to look at a book and tell her what hte pictures were.  He just shut the book and refused, similarly he didn't want to play with the rather grubby plastic fork/spoon/cup/plate and cow she lined up.  Although, not long before we left, he did give me each of the items as she'd asked him to do earlier, but she didn't realise. 

She tried to tell me he lacks concentration - Ryan?????  I don't think so, if anything he can be a little too focused sometime - if indeed one can be too focused.  She also tried to tell me to ignore him when he was crying and expressing his big feelings because he wanted to play with the wooden cube.  I ignored her and continued to talk to him and validate his emotions.  I was actually pretty pissed off by this time, and not at all impressed by the HV.  She wants to see him in a few months time to try and assess him again but I shan't bother.   Why on earth have such nice toys in reception and then manky uninteresting ones for the assessment?  It's crazy - and ok Rye is beginning to assert himself more and will NOT do something he doesn't want to, which can be a bit embarssing at times - but at the same time, he is entitled to his emotions and to have a degree of autonomony over what he does.

Still, there are times when I wish he wasn't quite so assertive; Thursday was toddler group again, and a photographer was taking photos of the children.  When it came for Rye's turn, would he sit on the sofa and engage with the photographer, nope.  In the end, we had to go out and try again at the end of the sessions.  The phototgraphy had the idea of using one of the older boys to show Rye what was expected.  Ryen still wasn't having any of it and told the photographer to put his toys away.  The guy said he'd never being told to do that before - lol so my lad is originial if anything :-)

In the end I picked him up and reminded him that it was time for juice and a buscuit and the sooner he sat on the sofa and played catch the sooner he could have a buscuit.  Worked a treat and the photographer managed to snap some shots; looking forward to seeing how they've turned out next week.

I am proud of Rye though.  He can be very easy going, so really, its nice to see him starting to assert himself a bit.  Bless him. 

I still can't get over the HV claiming Rye has concentration problems - I was too stunned to tell her she was completely wrong and I also quickly decided there was no point making her aware of my parenting style and that I am a HE'er - particularly as she was quite horrified to learn that Rye was still breastfeeding. 


Jax said...

I recall at an early assessment for Big the HV offered her a bunch of hundreds and thousands and when Big showed no interest said "no pincer grip then" to which I replied "offer her a nipple and you'll find out she's got an excellent pincer grip". HV was not impressed with me lol but I decided that she wasn't coming in my house again anyway.

To balance it out, by the time Small was two and not talking (at all) we had a different HV who was absolutely excellent, she sent letters to ask if we needed anything, and when I said I would like an assessment came to the house and sat in the garden with us and made it very low key, and then got us referred for speech therapy on the grounds that he was ahead in every other area, but wasn't talking at all. So there are *some* good ones out there, but they take some finding.

Eoforhild said...

That health visitor has such a terrible attitude.

Do they honestly think children are going to behave normally in an unusual environment with a complete stranger?

No wonder so many kids get labeled and dosed up!!

Mel said...

Oh but it makes my heart ache when I hear of adults who absolutely have NO experience with a particular child begin to put stupid labels on them....agh!

I'm so glad you're standing up for your boy and not letting them bully're a wonderful mother...and he's a lovely, completely NORMAL little boy...